Thursday, January 27, 2011

Delete. Delete. Delete.

I saw recently where two of the nicest people I know were deleted as "friends" on facebook by other people. That's kind of hard to imagine. One had mentioned that it felt sort of like rejection. I have to agree. I've been deleted. I've also been the deleter.

I don't have that many friends, so it's sort of easy to figure out who does the deleting. But, I feel a little better when I notice they're not on facebook any longer. Who can really keep up with THAT many people anyway? Can I honestly say I want to?

I was deleted by this one guy who I knew in my twenties. I was part of the singles group at a mega church here in the area. We agreed for the most part in every aspect of life. I'm not sure why he deleted me. Maybe it was because I wouldn't like a certain university that he kept suggesting I "like". Maybe it was just a side effect of him falling at work on the tarmac at Love field and hitting his head. Whatever. 

Another one of the people that deleted me was a recent acquaintance at a former church. She and her husband had gone through the FPU class that Hubby and I facilitated. She was quirky and at times hysterical. Not sure why she deleted me. At this point, not sure I care.

Another one from high school deleted her page, but when she came back didn't pick up our "friendship" again. It's okay. It felt awkward anyway.

One girl that deleted me I had gone to high school with. I had posted something about a couple not working things out. The husband was only thinking of himself and their kids will now have to split time between parents. The dad wanted to hook up with somebody half his age. Argument ensues. Her viewpoint was that the adults should part ways if that's what makes them happy. Sort of like the kids would rather grow up in two separate homes than one home with people arguing all the time. There was no way I was going to convince her to see my viewpoint and I wasn't going to agree with hers. There was no agree to disagree button so she pressed delete.

Then, there are those I've deleted. Guys that I've known since elementary. I got tired of looking at a muscle car for a profile picture and no activity whatsoever. It felt sort of like a creeper. Then, there was this one chick that I've known from middle school. When I would see her pop up on the news feed I would have flashbacks to this girl back in junior high. Apparently I had set her off one morning in the gym before school started. Here's this chick with curly hair and two inch thick glasses yelling at me. For whatever reason. Her voice was worse than nails on a chalk board. Delete.

There was one lady would change her profile picture like she changed her underwear. That part is fine. But in every shot there was a clear picture of her breasts. She left nothing to the imagination. I thought to myself, "Woman be proud of your femininity, but don't shove it down my facebook throat." Breasts aren't the only thing that make us feminine. It's so much more than that. I have breasts of my own. I know what they look like. I don't want to know what hers looks like. Delete. 

There are those that I got along well with in school and those are the ones that I want to keep up with. It may not be everyday, but it's when we can. There are those that I didn't get along with. If we didn't get along back then, why would we now? I promise, I'm not stuck back in high school. But, it shaped a part of me and I carry it around.

There were people that I deleted that we went to church together. Past tense. Some of the relationships in person felt forced. Not natural. There were a few people who would post something about every hour. That makes me crazy. I looked at it as if they were taking valuable space away from people who I really want to hear from. I figured if I had to hide somebody I might as well delete.

Then there were some people, from whatever walk of life, that I didn't feel like we had anything in common. If we weren't going to ever socialize in real life, why socialize in the electronic world?

I've even deleted family. I had one member get accusatory on a specific post. They were doing the exact thing that they were accusing me of doing. I don't have time for people inserting drama where there is none intended. This wasn't the first time that person had done this. Delete. There were others that I just got tired of being belittled by. I'm almost 42 years old and I deserve to be treated better than they treated me. That person has an excuse for everything. If it's not their idea it's not any good. Nobody can tell them anything. My experiences or opinions are not any less valuable because I am younger. Delete.

I think it's funny when facebook suggests people as friends and those people are those that have deleted me or that I have deleted. In this day and age you mean to tell me that this social network can't figure out the bug that suggests those people?? I smile and move on..

I'm not sure why others delete, but these are some of the reasons I have. I'm not saying that that makes it right or wrong. For some it's a "Get them before they get me" mentality. I've heard others say, "I have pictures of my kids on my page and I want access to them limited". This electronic revolution has taken the responsibility of face to face connections and turned it into a wall to hide behind. But, I guess it's here to stay. How we choose to deal with it is our choice.

I saw this video on my cousin's page. I love it! She happens to be an English teacher in South Korea (4.32 mark). 

1 comment:

  1. I deleted a cousin's wife after she nearly tore my head off for suggesting that a name she had chosen for a baby they were adopting might be interpreted the wrong way by some. Let's just say the venom that came from her post was enough to peel wallpaper 1500 miles away! DELETE.
    Poor me...she also didn't send a Christmas card. And the kid? They decided not to name him that gosh-awful name after all.
    FB sucks. Period. But it is rather like crack cocaine...extremely addictive.