Monday, December 31, 2012

Goodbye to 2012

What a whirlwind 2012 has been. And that silly Mayan calendar? Puh-leeze!

This year has had many ups. A few downs. Lots of in between.

Is there anything I would change?

I think I would have slowed my roll on hosting duties over the summer. It was great getting settled in our new house. But I guess there was this stupid self-imposed need to have people over just about every weekend. I'm not sure there was a weekend that went by that there wasn't someone at our house. We were getting to know new people in our neighborhood, while still maintaining previous relationships.

Looking back, there wasn't a weekend where we went to someone else's house for a get together. Is anyone obligated? No. But then I guess I'm not either. I'm not saying that that's the reason to have people over. Some would say I'm keeping score. So be it. Call it what you like. But if people don't reciprocate in any way, the friends who host them often may feel that the interest in friendship is not really mutual. Everyone wants to feel valued. At the time, I thought I enjoyed having people over. It was a lot of work but I fooled myself into thinking I enjoyed it. I've had my fill of kids who can't respect someone else's property to adults who can't pick up after themselves. 

On a bright August day, right before school started, my youngest daughter fell from the backyard playset. I felt like a heel, because at the time I thought, "Oh she'll be fine". It took our landscape guy who was chopping down a tree for us to tell me, "I think you should take her to the ER."  Am I a bad mother or what? One hot pink cast later and she's all better.

There was a time when my oldest daughter thought it would be  a good idea to have the dog pull her on the scooter. That wasn't such a great plan. The dog changed course, the dog leash got stuck in the scooter wheel and then my daughter went flying face down on to the concrete. If I could go back, I would have told her that it could end in disaster. Can I protect my kids from everything? Nope. But that would have been a time I wish I could have!

We've had our share of physical mishaps this year. If I could wrap my kids in bubble wrap, I would.

A highlight for this year was one day during the summer, me and a friend took our kids out and distributed bottled water and snacks to people waiting at bus stops and some homeless people. The day also happened to be my friends birthday. In the middle of July. It was a wonderful way to spend the day.

In 2013 I will be more understanding when it comes to the hours my husband works. He works a lot to provide a roof over our heads and food on the table. He is good at what he does and I am proud of him. He has a lot of responsibilities and I am thankful that he has been entrusted with them.

I wonder if 2013 will find me employed? 

In 2013 my kids will be more than jpegs. 

In 2013 there will be no science fair project partners. And said project will be finished before the kids get out of school for Christmas break.

This Christmas season found three of the four of us with the flu. We didn't get to do very many activities that we like to do as a family since Hubby and kids were sick. I'm entertaining the idea that we get the flu vaccine next year. I did manage to watch A Christmas Story for the first time. Eh. I'm not sure why people are so hooked on it.

In 2013 I'll be a little less stressed about Christmas. And plan a lot better!  

2013 may bring some distance between me and whatever I choose. I will give myself permission to say "No" a little more often. And I won't feel guilty about it. My heart needs a little more guarding. I am no longer anybody's verbal or emotional punching bag.

I see less "pinning" and more completed projects in 2013.
Yep. 2012 has been a whirlwind. It's been up and it's been down. I hope to take the time to notice more around me and not to hurry through this next year. I hope to listen more and talk less. I have to accept what I cannot change. The past is just that. The past.  I can only move forward. I hope to extend the grace that has been shed for me. I hope to be the example that my daughters deserve. I want to assure them they are loved and that they can come to me for anything. That I continue to grow into the  wife, Hubby deserves.

So raise a glass to what was and is to be. Here's to 2013.