Monday, June 22, 2009

Fathers Day

Can I just say, that I'm glad Fathers Day is over.

I don't mean any disrespect toward my husband. He's the best father I could have imagined for my daughters. He's caring, loving and very sensitive to their fragile beings. He is truly their "daddy" through and through. They love him with their entire being.

My daughters have the opposite of what I had.

I'm not sure that I would call my dad, "daddy" or "father". He's more than a sperm donor. I'm not sure how to address him when I speak of him with my mom. Am I insulting her in any way when I refer to him as my "dad" or "father"? Or should I just call him by his first name?

My dad broke my heart. He was a slave to alcohol. He had a bond with the bottle that my mom and I couldn't come between.

After having children of my own, I know the love that a parent has for a child and I can't come to terms with why I wasn't worth kicking the habit for. It's my "cross to bare" I guess.

For some reason this Fathers Day just seemed to bother me. Hopefully the feeling will go as soon as it comes next time.....

facebook & "friends"

In the recent past I had posted a status on my facebook page. I said that I was "torn between two churches".

There's one church, very close to home. It's pretty much the only "traditional" Baptist church in Plano. it sort of "won" by default on the traditional front. It has a great group of "blue hairs" that my husband and I love. We've been close with them for years. It seems harder though to connect with people our own age. It seems close to impossible to get "leadership" to agree on anything within the department and when asked for volunteers there is nothing but the sound of crickets....

Then, the second church is a little further away. The worship is amazing. It takes traditional to a whole new level. There's even a group of "blue hairs" there as well. We have somewhat of a connection with people there our age. I just have to come to grips with the drive.

A week after I made my post my husband had breakfast with another leader of our Sunday school group. The other person isn't even on facebook. So, I can assume that one of my facebook "friends" probably gossiped to the other guy, instead of just asking me about it. Don't you just love it? How high school! He said something to my husband with the implication that says, "You need to control your wife and what she says on facebook". Hhmm..

Let me make something crystal clear. My husband IS the head of our house. I have no quandry with that. But, we discuss everything, we have to come to the same consensus on most everything. We are a partnership, not a dictatorship.

What was wrong with what I said? That instance makes me a little less torn between two churches. But, I don't want to leave this church out of anger. I want to hear the voice of God telling me where he wants my family and I to worship.

Facebook is a lot like high school.

Church is a lot like high school.

They both can have this feeling of a false sense of intimacy that eventually you just have to laugh out loud about.

My family and I are visiting the church that's a little farther away for a while. I'm not sure how this will end up.

I've got 'friends' on facebook that I go to church with. The funny thing is that some of those 'friends' don't even say "boo" to me on Sundays. What gives with that? Why even bother?