The Hall Pass Has Departed

During the week of the 4th of July, Hubby was on vacation*. After we got our oldest off to her first church camp we were free to stay up late and sleep in just as late. Movies were on the schedule as well. On the menu was what we like to call a "stupid funny"** movie and an alleged crime "thriller". 

The first movie that we scratched off of our list was Hall Pass. We knew going in that it was about two married couples and that the men get a week off of marriage. We hardly found any humor in this one. One couple ended up crossing the line physically and the other crossed the line emotionally. There was also a seen where Owen Wilson is at a fitness club and he falls asleep in the whirlpool. His character starts slipping into the whirlpool, and two men come to his rescue to pull him out of the whirlpool. NAKED. Full frontal. One of the two men was black. The other white. The movie puts in your face*** the stereotype of the black man's member and then the stereotype of the white man's member. It also didn't help that the hair and makeup people did their best to make Owen Wilson look so unbelievably unattractive. He was H.O.T. in Behind Enemy Lines! What more should we expect from the same people who directed There's Something About Mary and Dumb and Dumber. 

The next movie that we knocked off the list was The Departed. It was directed by Martin Scorsese and nominated for several Academy Awards.  Most outlets describe it as a crime thriller. I describe it as very stressful and just plain awful. The movie was apparently inspired**** by the time that James "Whitey" Bulger served as leader of the Winter Hill gang in Boston, Massachusetts. It was a tale of a crooked cop whose paycheck was being supplemented by the crime boss, and another cop trying to infiltrate the crime organization to bring it down. Of course with mob mentality there was more than enough bloodshed. The kind brought about by shooting people in the head. There was more fake brain matter than I care to think of and see. 

I want my time back from both of those movies*****.  I sometimes wish that I could open the top of my head and pour bleach in to erase any memory of those movies. Where are the good movies? I want good, silly humor without nudity. I would love to see a true "thriller" movie without all of the gore. Did I say already that I want my time back???

*Yeah! 

**Mindless humor 

***and Owen Wilson's face

****There's nothing inspiring about this film

*****I'm pretty sure Hubby feels the same