What is My Life?

For the past several weeks I've been doing  a bible study with one old* friend and a couple of new friends. We've been going through Kelly Minter's No Other Gods. It's been more than fascinating! Then recently Hubby and I have been reading through Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life**. Technically it's not really A LOT of reading. Each book takes maybe 30 minutes each out of my day.

After reading chapter five of Purpose Driven Life I was curious.  The title is "Seeing Life from God's View". As Rick puts it we can see our lives as a circus, a minefield, a roller coaster, a puzzle, etc. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down and sometimes you go round and round. What's my life metaphor?

Am I the rabbit racing through life just to get to the finish line? Or to rush through motherhood? Am I the tortoise taking my time while life speeds past? Warren says that we need to challenge conventional wisdom and replace it with the biblical metaphors of life.

Romans 12:2 says "Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will". Warren mentions two biblical metaphors that teaches God's view of life.

Life on earth is a Test. He tests our character, faith, obedience, love, integrity and loyalty.  Adam and Eve failed their test, as well as David on several occasions. But there have been many who have faced and passed their challenges such as Joseph, Ruth, Esther and Daniel.

God is constantly watching my response to people, problems, success, and conflict. I have to admit that I've felt like God has drawn back and let me have control. I don't like it. I joke with Hubby that God isn't speaking to me right now. I'm not even sure if He ever has.

When life is a test nothing is insignificant for character development.  And I'm feeling like I'm failing that test miserably.


The second biblical metaphor that Warren mentions is Life is a Trust.  God has entrusted to our care opportunities, relationships and resources. We are stewards of what God gives us. Psalm 24:1 says, "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it. The world and all its people belong to Him." Warren says that it was God's property before I arrived and God will loan it to someone else after I die. I only get to enjoy it for a little while.

At the end of my life I will be evaluated and rewarded according to how well I handled what God entrusted to me. Uh oh! Some days I feel like I am failing that test miserably, as we have struggled with debt, giving God our first fruits, spending on what the needs of the day are as opposed to the wants. I hear over and again that I should not lust after the things of this world, even when I just want to have fun talking about nice things with friends or family. But then I look at all that we have been able to do on one salary that most friends do on two: we are raising two beautiful girls who have everything they need and a mother who has been at home raising them for the past ten years;  we have a decent-sized house that is not too big for a family of four; we take nice vacations every 3-4 years; we have been through a round of house remodeling. It's not as much as many of our friends have done, those who go on vacations every year AND have twice the amount of house with a pool. But we are happy and healthy, and we are all friends. Drama is kept to a minimum, and we live in the shadow of God's loving, divine will.

God moments don't feel as dramatic in our household as they might in the lives of others, but our moments with the Devil are few and far between. Tests have been present, and I think we need to do better with what God has entrusted us with (still working on that 10% tithe). But God has been quietly faithful to us all through our lives, giving us what we need and enabling us to follow Him. He has just been there, and in the end that's what friendship and relationship are really about. *Being* there.

 And isn't that something?




*I mean we've been friends for a long time, not that she's ancient!
**Very rarely will you ever find me reading through more than one book at a time. One usually ends up being put aside til later or I have no interest in it.

Fall Fun

My cousin recently introduced me to the world of Pinterest. It's basically a web site that acts like an electronic type of bulletin board. At first I couldn't figure it out. But the hardest part was getting the "Pin It" button to attach to my Google task bar. It has replaced my file folders full of magazine clippings, recipes, types of hairstyles I might want to try one day and decor for any season.

Recently a friend posted on facebook a picture of a pumpkin topiary that she had made for fall. It was simply fantastic! She has great taste. She's very much a Do-It-Yourself type of person. Here's a picture of her topiary:

I was in awe! It was fun and creative. It drove me to go to one of my favorite garden centers and pick up a few small pumpkins and get to painting! We're saving the carving for Hubby for next weekend. He wants to do it anyway.

Clearly I wasn't going for the topiary look because this was my first time at the pumpkin painting rodeo. I wanted to ease into it.  I got a pumpkin for me and one for each of my kids. I just wanted to see how mine would turn out with just painting first.

Well, it's not THAT bad. I just stuck with an all over metallic color and a black fleur-de-lis and some other embellishments. Hold your laughter:

The metallic color doesn't show up that well in this picture, but it's the best I've got. Yes, I know I could have done the fleur-de-lis straighter. Some people could probably nit-pick this to death. But, it doesn't matter, because I kind of like it!

  You'll notice the other two pumpkins are blank. Well. The girls decided that they didn't like how theirs turned out so they washed the paint off and they said they wanted to try again next weekend. I'm thinking glitter may be in their future! We had fun in the process:

 
I'm enjoying Pinterest a lot these days! It's taking over my time that I used to spend on facebook.  It's some of the good parts of facebook, but better. With none of the crappy stuff of facebook. Pinterest is just a place full of inspirational ideas, projects and style. Here's to more projects!

I Have to Get This Off My Chest

There are just some things that have been eating at me for a long time. I need to get them off my chest or I might just have to start slapping people. Or saying some things that I might later regret. Here goes.

*I'm really tired of people being a$$holes.  Why can't people just be nice? I understand that people have an occasional bad day, but some have had a lifetime of bad days and it's exhausting.

*I have learned that it's not my job to be the chain of communication. I am no longer going to assume that you want so-and-so at your get together. If you want someone there, ask them yourself please. I have had times when I was selective about who I wanted at my gathering and therefore didn't ask them. I let each person know individually.  Plus, if I was the chain of communication the other person gets all huffy and  says, "Why didn't they ask me themselves?"You know how those people can be.

*Please don't call me in for a 15 minute meeting and then 45 minutes later we still haven't covered what we really need to talk about. At dinnertime.

*Please don't come in to my home and complain about the dust or the smell in the backyard when you don't even clean up your own home/work place without the help of your mother. When you have outside help to clean, your opinion is just about null and void.

*Snobby people are driving me nuts at the moment. Seriously, you have nothing to be snobby about. You are no better than the rest of us.

*Why are college educated people still misspelling the simplest of words?

*Hubby left you TWO voicemails. You can't say he didn't try to find out what was wrong. I think he at least deserved an email back if you were too chicken to call him. So just be wrong. Sit there in your wrongness and be wrong.

*Stop coming up with excuses. Just admit you can't do it anymore. You can't do everything on your own. You need help. AND IT'S OKAY!

I'm not whining. I'm just tired of certain behaviors. I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means. But couldn't we all try a little harder to be aware of the ripple effect we have on others?

Buy My House. Please!

After the long, hot summer we just endured Hubby and I decided we'd really like to have a pool in our backyard. The problem is we cringe at the $45k price tag installing a pool comes with. So the subject of selling our house came up. After sitting around wondering whether or not to sell, we finally put our house on the market. What do we have to lose?

Let the good times begin*! I've gone through closets and packed up boxes. I've spit and polished just about all I can. We hired a handyman to fix odds and ends. It is show ready just about twenty four hours a day. 

It's been a couple of weeks now and it's been a roller coaster. Our realtor gave me access to the comments that the realtors who come through have. It comes to my email after each visit. 

This is the time I'm going to take out my frustration on all of you ignorant realtors out there. 

1.  Comment: beautiful drive-up, but the den is too small and the bedrooms are all on the same side of the   house. 

     Well, I can't do anything about that one. You and your kids are too old for this neighborhood. It needs  

      young blood. I can't change the floorplan. It is what it is. For this area you either need small children or  

      be empty nesters. 

2. Comment: beautiful drive-up, clients favorite of the day. Will discuss an offer. 

     Please. Don't insult us with ridiculous offers. We want to move. We don't have to move. We're not          desperate. 

3. Comment: Clients are looking for more contemporary. They would need to decide if they would want to  remodel. 

     Contemporary? Had the client or the realtor looked at any of the pictures online they would have known  that there is nothing contemporary about this house. There's plenty of contemporary crap out there. We've seen it. 

4. Comment: Client thought the house was beautiful. They are moving here from Brazil and this would be their first time to buy a house. The only thing they didn't like was that the fireplace was too big. 

     Seriously, if that's the only flaw you can come up with you don't need to be buying a house in this area. We don't use it either, but it's just there. I didn't know that fireplaces came in different sizes. 

5. Comment: Beautiful drive-up and fabulous colors on the inside. They liked the updates then saw some of the paneling and wondered why we stopped updating. 

     Look here beyotch, had we not stopped updating we either wouldn't be selling or it would be priced much higher. We've put in granite in the kitchen and painted over a TON of pathetic wallpaper. We've put in a fence, new a/c, new hot water heaters. We've stained the cabinets to rid this house of the deplorable golden honey cabinet color that was popular in the 80's. All of our light fixtures and ceiling fans have been updated and there's no sign of the gold fixtures that again, the 80's dumped on us. Did I mention the buttload of energy efficient windows we put in a few years ago. Cha-ching!! We've seen houses priced much higher than what ours is and we've done much more than they have. We've made the necessary changes. The rest isn't broken. It still works just fine. It may not be the latest and greatest, but that's for someone else to change if they see fit.

Yes, people are entitled to their opinions. But so am I. This has been a short road that in some ways seems like it's already lasted forever. There are some moments when I think, "What are we doing?". The market is saturated with houses for sell. There's always the springtime. Hopefully someone will come along and think this is the perfect house for them. At one point, we thought it was perfect for us. Who knows? 

God knows.  It's in His hands. I have to be okay with that.

One realtor we met at an open house said not to get discouraged. "People are moving all of the time" is what she said. Here's to people to moving all of the time! Here's to hoping what she said rings true. 

*sarcastic tone intended here

Mother Tucker II

Our rescue dog, Tucker, is definitely part of the family now. He came home with us on December 4, 2010. He was an underweight Golden Retriever found wandering the streets. When we first brought him home we studied up on all things that could make a dog sick. We still make sure that the kids never give him chocolate, raisins, and grapes. We've gotten him play toys and he even adopted one of the girls blankets. He drags that blanket all around the house when he wants to show off. 

Along with making sure he doesn't get fed all of the wrong things, this house is on high alert to keep socks away from this dog. We used to blame the dryer for missing socks. But no more. Tucker will find a sock*, eat it then he disposes of it in the backyard. He disposes of it through his rear end. 

Let me get this straight, chocolate causes dogs to have high heart rates and vomiting. And grapes and raisins can cause kidney failure. But, socks passing through a dog's digestive system isn't fatal? We're at a loss as to why he hasn't learned not to eat socks. 

I could almost understand if he wants to chew on it. But then leave it on the floor and move on. What about a sock even tastes remotely good enough to swallow??? He must have a stomach made of steel to be able to pass these things through! I wish this dog could talk to me and explain his silly infatuation with socks. Then I could knock some sense into him to where he wouldn't eat socks any more. 

This dog is a part of the family. He's a goob. I guess I need to get used to buying lots of socks. And hopefully finding less and less of them in the backyard as time goes by. 

*obviously I can't be vigilant enough to make sure every stinkin sock finds its way to the laundry bin

Hand In Hand

It only took about three weeks before we had our first early release day at school this year. No biggie. My oldest was off at fifth grade camp and it was just me and my baby*. She was bored silly without big sister around. She soon noticed my bookshelf with my scrapbooks and wedding photo album in it. One by one she gets them down from the shelf. Asking questions and making funny comments about some of the pictures. 

Then lastly, she got my wedding album down and started thumbing through the pages. Then I hear, "Mommy! You cheated on Daddy?!" I emphatically said, "NO" and went over to see what picture she could have been talking about.

 My father died when I was eighteen, so I knew early on that I would always ask my oldest cousin to walk me down the aisle. My baby was looking at the picture of me and my cousin about to walk down the aisle and I burst out laughing. I explained that my cousin had represented my family in giving my hand in marriage to Daddy. 

It was all better after she saw that yes, Daddy was there and he and I walked out of that sanctuary hand in hand. 

She cracks me up with most of the things she says. She has such a personality that it's hard to keep a straight face. I love her for it!

*1st grader, but she's still my baby

Asking and Giving Forgiveness

 "Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive."
  Luke 17:4

Can we all admit that asking for someone's forgiveness is one of the hardest things in the world to do? It takes humility, and it takes courage. It takes the power of God.  It especially doesn't help when the person you're asking foregiveness from reminds you of your crime and won't let it go.

Someone I was talking to mentioned that she had asked forgiveness from someone. The person basically threw it back in her face and reminded her of her abomination. If you knew my friend, it would break your heart. She is the kindest person on the face of the earth.

I admit, that part of our conversation stuck with me for the rest of the day. It bothered me. It bothered me as much as if I was the one asking for forgiveness. It made me think that it's no wonder why people don't ask more often for forgiveness. When someone asks for forgiveness they are laying their heart out. Making themselves vulnerable. It is our choice to forgive as we have been forgiven by God. Each and every day.

Is it maturity? Could be. Whether it's mental or spiritual maturity, some prefer to dig their heels in and be right. They will stand their ground and when it's all said and done who wins? No one.

After I had just graduated high school I had my first love, of course I was head over heels. He was the be all and end all. Shocker. It didn't work out after a couple of years*. But when it didn't work out and he was dating a "friend" I'll admit that my behavior was atrocious. It was shameful. It was definitely something I wish I could take back. I didn't have the mental maturity or the spiritual maturity to handle the situation.

After several years had passed I put a note in the mail to them both. I wanted to apologize for my actions. I wanted to clear my conscience and fir them to know that I was truly sorry. I wanted to let go of the guilt once and for all.  When I received a note back from the girl, she asked what my intentions were. What was my motive? Then she reminded me of what I had done and how I hurt them both**. I was well aware of what I had done. But I was not alone in this stupid little triangle. But I asked for what God gives me everyday. Forgiveness. 

The weight of sin is so heavy only the shedding of Jesus' blood can atone for it.

When we sin against someone who has no relationship with Christ, it's as if Satan himself is steering the other person in not letting go. It's a self-focused, resentful way of living. I'm not sure it's really living at all. Jesus is the best friend we could ask for. If you don't have a relationship with Him, seek Him out and there will lie your hope and salvation.

Ephesians 4:31

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

In the world of raising kids, there is a lot of saying, "I'm sorry". Whether it's between the siblings or from parent to child and vice versa. I'm not a fan of saying, "That's okay" after someone says, "I'm sorry". I know we should forgive seventy times seven, but I also want to promote a sense of appreciation for the act of asking forgiveness.  I encourage my kids to say, "Thank you" to one another after they have had to apologize to each other. 

 Some people are ready and willing to forgive. I said some. When some people accuse you of doing something, then they do the same thing shouldn't both parties be asking forgiveness? Not just one? That's when I have to call to mind, Matthew 6:14. "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you". 

Forgiveness is the greatest gift.  Whether we feel forgiveness in our hearts or not, we are under obligation to obey God. As we obey God, He will supply the feelings.

Asking and giving forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do in this world. Thank you, God, that this world is not eternal.

God, I pray for the vulnerability to always ask for forgiveness when I need it. I pray that it is received with an open and pure heart as it is intended. And when someone asks for my forgiveness that You will supply the feeling of acceptance and that I will not let anger stand in the way.



*No harm no foul. We kiss a lot of frogs before the prince comes along, don't we? My prayers were answered when Hubby and I finally crossed paths. 
**Oh please, it was nothing physical. They got married, then she cheated on him and divorced him.

Not Even a Week In

The first week of school isn't even over yet and I'm already struggling. Don't get me wrong, we were all ready to go back to school. My kids were ready, and anybody who knows me well knows that I was ready for them to go back to school. It was time to get back into a steady routine. I'm not saying the summer was bad. It was truly grand! But, freshly sparpened pencils, clean chalkboards and homework were knocking down the door.

I said to myself that this school year would be great! My oldest is in fifth grade and my youngest in first. Great attitude = great year. I was even excited the day we went to find out who my kid's would have as their teachers. We didn't play in any games or school politics. We didn't write any letters asking for a specific teacher. It just worked itself out. God worked it out. 

But I'm already on shaky ground.

My oldest had new teachers last year. Every one of them. They didn't have kids either*. I was scratching my head about some of the projects and their bad timing on more than one occasion. With my youngest we started out Kindergarten with one teacher and finished with another. The first one had family issues and felt it was better to stay at home. I don't begrudge her that. We were lucky to have had her the length of time we did. We had known her since my oldest had started school there. The second teacher was great.Then the last day of school came and we were given Kindergarten graduation certificates.** My daughter's name was spelled wrong. Ugh. Really?  After two attempts at getting one with her name spelled right over the summer, nothing. On the third day of school this year I was told that I would have to wait until the end of this year to get one with her name spelled right because supposedly they didn't have any more of the cardstock. I went to a big box office supply and got my own.

I was able to leave my cares behind after asking several teachers, including the gifted and talented teacher about a math tutor for my oldest. I asked over email and in person. They said they would get back to me. I was ready and willing to pay to keep my daughter on her toes with her math skills. We've tried the math tutoring places before, but it wasn't what I was looking for. I was looking for true one on one time.  I dreaded the thought of her getting behind. I heard back from none of them. Either way. I ended up finding an honors math student who's a junior in high school. Both of my daughters just adore her!

For this school year I was sort of resigned to the old saying, "If you can't beat 'em join 'em" when it comes to PTA. You know. That group that people pay to join and volunteer for stuff. You're on a committee, but you have no say really. It just comes from the top down and the top barks orders. I don't like barking.***

The first assignment was to provide lunch for the teachers the Friday before school started. Easy cheesy! Of course I signed up to bring dessert. A chocolate chip pound cake was in the works. It was so much in the works I made TWO. One to keep and one for the staff. Heaven! It was cooled off and delivered in time. Complete in one nice Rubbermaid carry all.

When I went to the school the next day to pick up my cake carrier it was right at the front desk where the Hospitality chair said it would be. With a broken locking mechanism. Ugh. Really? Do you think anybody even said "Thank You"? Not even accolades in the first school newsletter of the year.

No, I didn't do it for the thank-you's. I did it because I wanted to share in something I enjoy doing. I realize accidents happen. From spelling my kid's name wrong to breaking my cake carrier. But, come on.

I need Grace. Mercy. Compassion. Thankfulness. Kindness.  To get me through the rest of the school year. A couple of days ago I was saying, "No more" this soon into the school year. I want to have a change of heart, but at this rate it will be trampled all over by Thanksgiving.


God, please change my heart for the better.



*Future 4th grade teachers here's one idea: when you plan for the project of keeping up with the moon pattern, would you please plan it in the winter when we have short days? Not during the spring after the sun was out past 9? We solely relied on Hubby's iPhone app. Yep, they have an app for that.

**No. We don't have Kindergarten graduation ceremonies. That's just stupid and a waste of money.

***Barking orders and little girls yelling and screaming. Grates.On.My.Nerves.

Me Neither

Have you ever been around someone who never lets you get a word in edgewise? The conversation was dominated by one particular party. Imagine if there were more than one of those types at a get together! They have to be the life of the party or they're afraid they won't feel important. 

Have you ever met someone new and in talking with them you've gotten to know a whole lot about them, but they've learned nothing about you?

Have you gotten together with someone you haven't seen in years and when you leave, you remember why you haven't seen them in a long time? 

No? Me neither. 

The Perfect Ten

I first met her with ten fingers and ten toes. When I first saw her she had blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. She was and is a blessing to me. She is a lively and creative spirit. She has a tender side and she's very sensitive. She is smart and energetic. She is the apple of her daddy's eye. And mine as well.

My oldest is ten today. I'm a little freaked out. Time has flown and I don't know where it has gone. I want to grab on to some moments and just live them forever. I want to never forget. I want to never forget the time when she was a baby and I would move my hand in front of her mouth and she would make funny noises.

When she was a toddler we would ask her what Daddy says. Her response would be, "I love you". When we asked her what Mommy says, her response was, "Sh*t". Yep. That's when I knew she was watching me and I had change my ways.

Then came time for her to go to pre-school. No biggie. She was cooler than a cucumber and ready to make new friends. We had a few years of "Muffins with Mom" and "Donuts with Dad". There were Christmas programs where they actually sang Christmas Carols.

Sending her off to elementary was a breeze. There hasn't been a teacher she hasn't liked. There may have been one or two I haven't liked, but she knows none the wiser.

My heart leaped for joy when she was ready to be baptized. She had followed God's command and made a public profession of faith. A tender heart learning to live in God's love and light. I get none of that glory. I don't deserve it. God gets all of the glory!

Ten years have gone by. Ten years of growing in God's Word. Ten years of growing up girl.

Ten years have gone by.

Thank you, God for allowing me the privilege of being this young girl's mother. Thank you, God for blessing me with her smile, sense of humor, her silliness. It just doesn't get any better than this! I lift her up in prayer to grow more independent in her faith. I pray for her to have a strong mind and body. I pray that she hears and feels a strong sense of destiny and purpose. Whisper in her ear, God, what You would have her do. May she have a desire for integrity and strive for excellence. May she always glorify Your name in everything she does, Lord.

Ten years have gone by. It's unreal. Happy birthday to my ten year old daughter!