Friday, January 22, 2010

Love & Hate

I have a love/hate relationship with my periodontist. I know hate is a strong word, but it's the first thing that comes to me when I think of how I feel when I'm in her chair. I like her a lot when I'm not in her chair. She seems like a great lady. I hate the pain she causes me on a continuous basis.

A couple of weeks ago I had surgery on my gums. Apparently I had too much. This seems quite ironic after a lifetime of dentists telling me I was actually brushing too hard and making them recede. Go figure. I had my follow up appointment to make sure everything was healing just a couple of days ago.

I get in the chair. I'm going so far down that my feet are above my head, I'm sure. She comes at me with the bright light that could rival the sun and this 22nd century looking caterpillar on a stick. I'm supposed to brush that thing between my teeth on a daily basis for the rest of my life. Here we go. I have a mirror in hand, bright light and the caterpillar on a stick. BAM! She hits a spot that has been very sensitive since my surgery. I wanted to take that mirror and bash her in the head. Is it assault if she started it? It felt like a nerve was exposed. That's how bad it felt.

Feet above head, bright light, caterpillar and trying to hold a mirror at the same time. It's my turn now. She's telling me how I'm doing it wrong and how I need to position it to get it between my teeth right. Did I mention I was also trying to do this and maneuver my cheek, that happens to be a little in the way, but good gosh, I need that cheek! It's not going anywhere. What the hell do you expect when I'm practically upside down?!?!??! Who brushes their teeth upside down?!?!?!?!?

Finally I'm aloud to get out of the chair. I'm in a bad mood. She's trying to make nice and ask about my husband who she is calling by the wrong name, AGAIN. She's also asking if I was named after Elvis' daughter. I hate that question. Yes. I. Was. But I spell my first name a lot cooler!

I have to go back in a month for a cleaning. If I ever have to go back after that, I may just boycott dentists all together.

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