Dear God,

I truly hate facebook. I despise that it has let people show their snarky sides more freely. It's impossible to let more than a week go by without some sort of drama rearing its ugly head! As fast as it is to be excited about something I see, something else is waiting to tear me down just as fast. It exposes the ugliness of peoples' souls for all of the world to see. 

Or is that Your master plan?

I long for our culture to go back to a God-fearing world. A world where we care for one another. We don't let ourselves forget that each and every one of us matters. 

I hate that it has replaced the sound of a voice over a telephone line. I hate that people post everything from what they ate to how many  bowel movements they had. 

If it's Your will to change my heart toward social media then please do, God. Otherwise, I'm cutting it off once again. My life is more productive. What I don't know or see won't hurt me. 

The Hall Pass Has Departed

During the week of the 4th of July, Hubby was on vacation*. After we got our oldest off to her first church camp we were free to stay up late and sleep in just as late. Movies were on the schedule as well. On the menu was what we like to call a "stupid funny"** movie and an alleged crime "thriller". 

The first movie that we scratched off of our list was Hall Pass. We knew going in that it was about two married couples and that the men get a week off of marriage. We hardly found any humor in this one. One couple ended up crossing the line physically and the other crossed the line emotionally. There was also a seen where Owen Wilson is at a fitness club and he falls asleep in the whirlpool. His character starts slipping into the whirlpool, and two men come to his rescue to pull him out of the whirlpool. NAKED. Full frontal. One of the two men was black. The other white. The movie puts in your face*** the stereotype of the black man's member and then the stereotype of the white man's member. It also didn't help that the hair and makeup people did their best to make Owen Wilson look so unbelievably unattractive. He was H.O.T. in Behind Enemy Lines! What more should we expect from the same people who directed There's Something About Mary and Dumb and Dumber. 

The next movie that we knocked off the list was The Departed. It was directed by Martin Scorsese and nominated for several Academy Awards.  Most outlets describe it as a crime thriller. I describe it as very stressful and just plain awful. The movie was apparently inspired**** by the time that James "Whitey" Bulger served as leader of the Winter Hill gang in Boston, Massachusetts. It was a tale of a crooked cop whose paycheck was being supplemented by the crime boss, and another cop trying to infiltrate the crime organization to bring it down. Of course with mob mentality there was more than enough bloodshed. The kind brought about by shooting people in the head. There was more fake brain matter than I care to think of and see. 

I want my time back from both of those movies*****.  I sometimes wish that I could open the top of my head and pour bleach in to erase any memory of those movies. Where are the good movies? I want good, silly humor without nudity. I would love to see a true "thriller" movie without all of the gore. Did I say already that I want my time back???

*Yeah! 

**Mindless humor 

***and Owen Wilson's face

****There's nothing inspiring about this film

*****I'm pretty sure Hubby feels the same

I Miss My Kids. Really!

I'm approaching my fourth night of the kids being at the grandparents house. The house has been clean for three days straight! It's quite nice that I haven't had to do as many dishes without them here. Hubby and I have watched movies and eaten dinner out without having to worry about who's gonna watch the kids. 

But, I miss my kids. Really! I miss their laugh, and their smiles. I miss their unending requests for something to eat and even their silly little sisterly spats. I miss their adorable faces. Other times if Hubby were to ask me if I missed the kids, I would quickly say, "No. Not yet". This time is different. 

The trip over to the grandparents was a little last minute plan. Usually, I'm at my wits end and that's when Hubby calls his parents to see if they want to spend a little quality time with the little cherubs.We haven't gotten the chance to get that much summer under our belts so far.  It really hasn't been all that stressful. Yet. 

I know I should be grateful for the free time. Trust me I am. 

Today was the first day I actually got out of the house to do something "fun". I'm not sure it gets any better than a chocolate mint pedicure! I had had enough of being cooped up in the house, not being able to think of something to do. Normally, I would have no problem thinking of something to do. It would be party central around my house. Ideas run rampant in my head, while the kids are running around the house. 

So, I'll savor my last night until the kids come home. I look forward to them returning. They have been missed. They are loved! I can't wait to kiss those cute little faces. 

Bridesmaids and Boxes

Recently I went to go see the totally hysterical movie Bridesmaids. Once I got past the raunchiness of the first two minutes I laughed until I cried*. I had great company for the movie, we were both in stitches! It's main plot is about two women who are friends since childhood, one is getting married and the other is the maid of honor who gets to know the other women in the bridal party. The matron of honor is in every- way-shape-and-form the opposite of the childhood friend. Let the competition begin for who gets to wear the title of "Best Friend".

It made me sort of wonder how the childhood friend had no idea of the "newer" best friend. They had never met until the time to start planning the wedding. The bride had a separate "box" she kept her groups of friends in. It made me think that I, along with most of us, do the same thing. 

Some of us have a family box, that we open when we need to. Then we put it back up on a shelf when we don't need them. Family occasions are just that. Family occasions. They very rarely combine with other groups of people in our lives. That doesn't mean we love them any less. Or does it? 

For those of us that have found a church home or, "box" it can be our refuge. It's our safe place to celebrate the joyful times in our life and express our faith. It can also be that place that we reveal our weaknesses and need for accountability. But for a few, once we leave our church box where does our faith take us? Our accountability is out the window. We dip our toes in and out of the church box on Sundays and Wednesdays and that's it. How do we make it more than what it is? 

In the neighbor box, there's a wide variety of difference. In faith, color, age and political opinions. Some prefer the warm confines of their own four walls. Never to venture out and meet new people. There are those that can make friends with a rock and bring others out of their shell. When Hubby and I first moved into our second house the neighbor across the street suggested a daddy/daughter bike ride**. But when the day and time arrived, Hubby knocked on their door but neighbor was nowhere to be found. I guess he had forgotten? When Hubby went over, the wife wasn't sure when he would return and she didn't know anything about it. They never mentioned it again. How do we draw people out of their homes and into more interaction with the very people in our closest proximity? 

The work box can be a tragic comedy all by itself! We're all looking out for number One! Covering our backside, to climb the corporate ladder and making sure that no one else gets credit for something that we have done. All while trying to maintain a spirit of camaraderie and making it a place where people want to come to work. There have been a few instances where I have seen co-workers actually get along fantastically outside of work despite plenty of differences. How do you foster an environment inside the workplace that encourages teamwork? 

Needless to say, the women in the movie competing for the attention of the bride came together. They put their competition aside for the benefit of the bride. 

No matter how many boxes we have do we mean to keep people in them? Is it to maintain some sort of sanity or steer clear of conflict? In Bridesmaids, yes it is! Is this a case of art imitating life? Do we only expose certain parts of ourselves to the different groups of people?

Of course those of us who have found a church box know the reason for the boxes - we live in a broken creation and each of us through our pride have set ourselves up as God. We have built up walls around us, constructed boxes around ourselves to ensure that we remain in control of each aspect of our lives. But Jesus came into this world to dare us to let down our walls, tear down our boxes, and open ourselves up to others in love, because He first loved us. "His Kingdom come, on earth as it is in Heaven." May I have the strength to live into this prayer!

*which is much better than laughing until I pee in my pants!

**they also have two daughters, a tad bit older

I Value Your Time

What is it about family? Maybe people in general? Some people's love comes with conditions and demands. We do our best to try and jump through those hoops for a small chunk of what attention we might get back in return, only to be discarded. It never seems to be good enough. 

If we drive four hundred miles to attend a high school graduation, it's not good enough because we don't have a gift in hand. When we send a gift but don't attend, it doesn't warrant even two sentences on a Thank You note. There have been plenty of times when others have driven four hundred miles into our town, but there was something else on their calendar*. We were an afterthought**. 

We recently got an announcement from somebody we haven't seen in ten years. I just didn't get it. I couldn't pick out the person in a lineup. Was it their attempt at trying to get a gift? When they moved into a new home, they invited all the rest of the family, but not Hubby and I. The last time they came over, I was explicitly told that they were in my house to be served. By me. I don't serve people my own age or younger if they are physically capable. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having people over. I want to serve people because I've invited them into my home and enjoy their company, not because I've been told to. There are some people that have been invited over and over, but I never get a response back. If it's me, then I wish they would just say so. I guess that's okay. After hearing "No" or nothing at all, the invites will just stop. No pressure. 

Some people hold it against us if we seem to be doing better financially. Others hold it against us if we aren't doing as well. We're looked down upon, or we've somehow insulted someone if we offer to help. Is there a happy medium? To quote Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?". 

The hardest part about family drama is what kind of affect it will have on my kids. Our family is pretty darn small already. Who will they turn to for special holidays and get-togethers? 

It's no wonder we choose to replace family with friends. They include us in the good times and the bad. Sometimes even in the sad. They include us. Period. We all have a few good friends that put their hearts on their sleeve. They would drop everything to help us out in a pinch. It's almost as if they could be the brothers/sisters we weren't blessed with, until later in life. 

If there's anything I value over material things, it's your time. I wish more people did as well.

God, grant me the patience and the grace to take things in stride. Life is short. I pray for loving relationships. Meaningful moments. I need special understanding for what seems the impossible. I pray for time not to slip away. 

*This happens on my side of the family AND Hubby's. I'm not pointing at anybody specific. Hhhmm.... maybe it's me. 

**Who am I kidding? We weren't thought of at all. 

Come On Summer!

It's been a long school year. I can almost taste the last day of school. It won't get here soon enough. It's been an interesting year as far as being a crossing guard goes as well. There have been some good things about this year, as well as bad. I have to remind myself of the good when something bad happens.

I had to make a list to help get me through the last few weeks of school. Here goes. 

The people and things I will miss:

-The moms who allowed me to get to know them by name. They've made the mornings and afternoons a pleasure. Here's to new acquaintances and friends. 

-The kids who were ready to get to school each and every day. Some of those kids had the sweetest disposition.
-The school bus driver who actually tried to keep the Christmas spirit alive by leaving his interior Christmas lights up well after the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Saviour was over.
-The extra money was nice. I could earn a little play money and it didn't take me away from my kids.
-The people who drive by and just wave to say hello. They're not dropping off kids, they're just on their way to work. Or wherever.

There will also be some things that I won't miss:
-the alarm clock. Need I say more?
-Seeing kids that are way too small to be sitting in the front seat of cars.
-People who don't understand what my "Stop" sign really means.
-The woman in the minivan with a permanent scowl on her face. Everyday.
-The extreme cold/heat. The weather has not been my friend much this year.

It's been an interesting year. Goodbye homework. Goodbye to being a crossing guard at the corner.  Hopefully, summer will wipe away the headaches of the past school year. It will give us time to nurture new friendships and maintain the existing ones. Plenty of opportunity for fun, relaxation and FREE TIME.

The World Is Your Oyster

It's that time of year again. The one where your mailbox is filled with wonderful announcements. Announcements of dreams fulfilled. Twelve years of hard work, studying, football games, exams, parties. High school graduation is a wonderful mark in most everybody's life. It's closing the door on our adolescence and opening another to our future adulthood. Whether that includes going into the military, making the journey to college or joining the workforce. It's their choice. The world is their oyster.

It's worth celebrating. Shout it out to the mountaintops! To those that we see on a most regular basis to those we haven't seen in a number of years. When do we know what is appropriate to send as a gift?When is a card enough? Just because you get an announcement does Miss Manners say that we are obligated to send a gift? Are we supposed to consider how much the travel expenses would be? 

Obviously, each person's financial situation is different. Not everyone at every time can  give a gift of monetary value. Nor, may they want to. There are many different types of gifts.  

If  most expect some sort of monetary gift, is it too much to expect a thank you note that consists of more than ONE sentence?  I guess that one sentence thank you note is better than no thank you note at all. Instead of presents, when is presence enough? 

Whether a gift is received and a thank you note written, congratulations graduates! You have the world ahead of you. Every possibility awaits. Your childhood behind you, the world ahead. Take advantage of every great opportunity. Seek counsel from others when there seems to be too many choices, or not enough. Most of all, enjoy every moment!

Caviar and Donuts

Let me tell you, an anniversary is worth celebrating! It's worth acknowledging all that you have gone through in the last year, and all that you look forward to in the future. It's a wonderful time away from the kids, to remind ourselves that we are husband and wife before we are mom and dad. Last but not least, it was a great excuse to bring out the gorgeous Ralph Lauren one shoulder navy dress* out of the closet!

We started out going to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. It's probably overpriced to many, but for one special night out of the year it's worth it. Hubby had called ahead and made our reservation and mentioned that it was our anniversary. As we were seated, our hostess scattered rose petals across the table.

After we had ordered our meal, the waiter had brought out a small plate of caviar with embellishments. Compliments of the staff. Hubby and I were in awe. We had never tried caviar before, so we had no idea what we were in for. We took one for the team and tried it. It was the closest to a fishy taste without the texture. I like fish, but I want the texture when I eat something fishy. 

When we got our main coarse, it was one of the most perfect steaks I've ever had. Who do I have to pay to teach me how to make a steak this good? I want to know the secrets!! I savored every wonderful bite. 

At the end we knew that we shouldn't, but how could we pass up dessert on our one night at one of the best restaurants in town? But we didn't pick one of the traditional desserts on the menu. We actually picked cinnamon sugar donuts with warm chocolate sauce and whipped cream. I've never had a donut like this. 

In our Saturday night finest we've started the meal with caviar and ended it with donuts. How romantic! It was  a wonderful atmosphere, great food and terrific company!

When we were done with dinner the subject of what to do next popped up. We thought about going to the movie or going to hang out at the bookstore. Hhmm....then Reunion Tower popped into my brain. I thought it would be fun to go to the top of the tower and see the wonderful city and watch the sun go down. Wolfgang Puck has a restaurant at the top of the tower called Wolfgang Puck's 560. It's named 560 because it's 560 feet up in the air. We had no room left for any more food, so we hung out in the bar and watched the city go from early dusk to night time. It's really unique at 560 because the floor rotates, very gently and slowly. It takes about an hour to turn completely around and see the wonderful city. 

Our next night out, it's a shoe in that we'll make reservations for 560. Hubby and I look forward to spending a nice dinner time out with this gorgeous view. 

*awesome purchase for $45 from refinestyle.com, brand new with the tags still on it. 

Thirteen

It is considered to be bad luck by many in the Western culture to dine with 13 people at the table.

This may be because of the Last Supper - Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve disciples betrayed Jesus.


The card deck includes 13 hearts, 13 spades, 13 squares, 13 clubs


Benjamin Franklin
Virtues:

1. TEMPERANCE.	Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2. SILENCE.	Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
3. ORDER.	Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4. RESOLUTION.	Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. FRUGALITY.	Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
6. INDUSTRY.	Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. SINCERITY.	Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. JUSTICE.	Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. MODERATION.	Avoid extreams; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10.CLEANLINESS.	Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.
11.TRANQUILLITY.	Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12. CHASTITY.	Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
13. HUMILITY.	Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

The fashionable Savoy Hotel in London, England does not take any chances. If you book a table for a party of thirteen, you will find that the table has been set for fourteen guests. Kasper, the black cat will be joining you for dinner. Kasper is the three foot sculpture cat that resides at the Savoy Hotel.

The business woman, Mary Kay Ash believed thirteen was a very lucky number. The company was founded Friday, September 13, 1963. The Mary Kay headquarters has thirteen floors and thirteen passenger elevators

Sometimes the number 13 is a bad thing. Sometimes a good thing. Chalk this one up under the good thirteen file. On May 16, I get to celebrate my thirteenth wedding anniversary. 

Thirteen years of growing. Growing together into a family. Growing in love. Growing older. 

Thirteen years of laughter. Silly, and sometimes stupid, jokes. 

Thirteen years of loving my best friend. Loving through all of the good, bad and the ugly. 


Thirteen years of not wanting to be apart if I don't have to be. 


Thirteen years of not being able to stay mad very long at the man I love. We've worked through lots of things and I look forward to working through what we haven't yet. 

Thirteen years of everyday life. More ups than downs. Together. I wouldn't trade it for anything or anyone.

Yep! You're Right. I'm Not Your Mother

There's a lesson that I think every married man with children should consider about Mother's Day. It's not about extravagant gifts or going to fancy places. It's about a sweet acknowledgement of what we have together. The best of both of us wrapped up in sweet kids that I wouldn't trade for anything in this world.

I'm not your mother, but I am your wife. I carried those two kids and loved them from the moment we found out we were pregnant. I will love them beyond what they can ever imagine.

I'm not your mother, but I am your wife who you chose to go on this parenting journey with. With every up and down that we experience, we experience it together.

I'm not your mother, but I am your wife and best friend. Long after the kids are grown and out of the house, it will be just you and me. I will still need a, "Happy Mothers Day" from you to let me know that you care and to know that you think I did a good job.

I'm not your mother, I am the girl that thinks she won the husband lottery. I couldn't have picked a better man to have a family with. Our kids know how a man should treat a woman. They look up to you. Every Father's Day I think how lucky, not only our kids are but how lucky I am as well.

If I hear one more man, even in a joking manner say that his wife is not his mother, I might have to pinch his head off. You* know that there have been plenty of times where the wives have had to be your mother at some point in time.

*the metaphorical you of course.....