Lent, Second Edition

During Lent, 2011, Hubby and I gave up facebook. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. We didn't even cheat on Sundays. At least he didn't. I did on the third Sunday. We had time on our hands. We had to communicate the old fashioned way!

Then Easter Sunday came and went. I was perusing facebook that night and I was enjoying some pictures that "friends" had posted. I noticed one particular picture that someone had posted of the inside of their church from that morning. It was exquisite. It had beautiful woodwork and it was traditional to the bones. So, I "liked" the picture and asked if it was in the same city in which he lived. This guys response was, "Try xxxxx". Really? How in the world am I supposed to know? I'm glad I'm happy at the church we attend. That would have been a great opportunity to share his church home with others. I "unliked" the photo and deleted my comment. Whatever.

Maybe my response was extreme. But, I'm not sure that his response could have been taken in any other way. If so, oh well.

While we were abstaining from facebook during Lent, Hubby and I had discussed continuing not to participate. Either we would only look on Sundays or just delete our accounts altogether. Of course deleting our accounts altogether would be easy since we hadn't been that much into it during the Lenten season. But, I felt a tug. Delete my account? Take a breath, it will be okay.

Then we watched a show on one of the cable news networks called, "The Facebook Obsession". It highlighted the start of facebook and some of the ups and downs along the way. It all started in a dorm room at Harvard by Mark Zuckerberg. His original concept was called "facemash", where he had input Harvard students pictures on the web site and he asked for people to vote on the prettiest/ugliest students. Sounds lovely, huh? It was quickly taken down.

The Facebook Obsession highlighted a reunion story of an adult woman looking for her birth mother. I guess that's okay when both want to be found. They also brought attention to police departments who had captured criminals through the web site. Yeah for criminals being captured! One woman that the show featured was employed as a school principal. She was fired after her "private" rants about the students were seen as inappropriate. The principal had blamed facebook for her firing. I don't blame facebook, facebook didn't make her put those things on her wall. She did.

Our privacy on the site is constantly being sacrificed. The site is constantly making changes, but those changes aren't made very well known unless someone gets a hold of it and spreads the word. Even though I think my wall is private, it's not. As the show continued, I think it made it a little easier for us to stomach deleting our accounts. First we have to go in and delete our photos one by one. Joy.

The producers of the show requested an interview with Zuckerberg, but their request was denied. They were referred to the facebook's privacy page on the site.

The show also aired a partial interview by Kara Swisher of The Wall Street Journal. She sat down with Zuckerberg for an interview and some of the questions weren't even that hard hitting, but he was sweating profusely. Some have called it, his "Nixon moment". This socially awkward young adult who started the biggest social network there is to date.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't an attack on anyone who chooses to participate on facebook. It's just that we are finding it easier not to. Come Friday, we will start to delete the pictures one by one on our pages and say good-bye.

The Facebook Obsession

21 Days

It's been 21 days without facebook! The funny thing is, my world didn't come to an end. Amazeballs! Twenty one days of not worrying if so and so saw my latest post, or if I was or wasn't the intended target of someone else's post. I'm not worrying why that person sent "Happy Birthday" wishes to her and I didn't get any. It truly is out of sight, out of mind.

It's been three weeks of not getting twisted up into knots over garbage spewed out by people with opposing political/social/religious views. Isn't there enough stress in life without adding that crap to the mix? 

It's been twenty one days free of the abbreviations, LOL, ROFL, FML, FOCLOL, FTW, FOCROFLOL, BRB, BBS, and BS. Half of those I don't even know what they mean. And I don't care either. If it's not funny enough to spell the whole thing out, why bother?

I did wonder what the reaction was after Brad chose Emily. But it was so long after the fact that I was wondering that nobody would have been talking about it still. When Elizabeth Taylor died, it was on all the entertainment shows what celebrities were tweeting. Honestly, if you don't respect her enough to spell out "Rest in Peace", why bother? I'm sure 140 characters will allow you that much. 

I chose to cheat for one brief moment. There was one birthday that I wanted to acknowledge by snail mail. I had their address in my facebook messages. I checked my messages for their address. I filled out the envelope and logged out. That was it, I swear! Before Lent started I did prepare other birthday wishes by using the Hallmark facebook application. Is that cheating? 

Is it cheating when I visit a web site (protecttheclassroom.com) to click on the little facebook "like" button? I haven't done it since it would show up in the facebook newsfeed. Since facebook wasn't around in Jesus' time I can't really apply the question, "What would Jesus Do?". I'm pretty sure He could care less! 

I'm not trying to come across as pretentious or judgmental. This is my journey through Lent 2011. With three weeks left it's easy-cheesy-lemon-squeezy. 

P.S. I'm not blaming the tool. That would be like blaming a gun when someone shoots another person. It's the person who is to blame. I'm choosing not to play the game. 

Lent: Day 1

This year I've decided to give up facebook for Lent. An opportunity to get closer to God and far more distanced from my computer. Closer to my Creator, and farther apart from those that might not have the best of intentions. 

Draw me closer to you, Lord. 

I've never really taken Lent seriously before I met my husband. Over lengthy discussions over time it was made clear that sacrificing something so little for such a short period of time pales to what Christ sacrificed for me. I've tried in the past, one thing or another with giving up something. It was always in the back of my mind that Sunday was coming and I could "cheat" on that day. Christ didn't "cheat". 

Remain in me, Lord. 

I guess I've always used the excuse that I'm not as strong as others and I gave in to a spirit of failure. That I'm not "as big" of a Christian as this person or that person. That it might be expected of me to not succeed. In all reality, I didn't totally depend on Christ to get me through. 

I can do anything in Christ, who strengthens me. 

Granted as I write this, it's only halfway through day one. I'm sort of praying for the desire of facebook to just go away. May this Easter season give me a stronger faith, patience, love and forgiveness that I need. 

May Jesus be my only social network. 

Delete. Delete. Delete.

I saw recently where two of the nicest people I know were deleted as "friends" on facebook by other people. That's kind of hard to imagine. One had mentioned that it felt sort of like rejection. I have to agree. I've been deleted. I've also been the deleter.

I don't have that many friends, so it's sort of easy to figure out who does the deleting. But, I feel a little better when I notice they're not on facebook any longer. Who can really keep up with THAT many people anyway? Can I honestly say I want to?

I was deleted by this one guy who I knew in my twenties. I was part of the singles group at a mega church here in the area. We agreed for the most part in every aspect of life. I'm not sure why he deleted me. Maybe it was because I wouldn't like a certain university that he kept suggesting I "like". Maybe it was just a side effect of him falling at work on the tarmac at Love field and hitting his head. Whatever. 

Another one of the people that deleted me was a recent acquaintance at a former church. She and her husband had gone through the FPU class that Hubby and I facilitated. She was quirky and at times hysterical. Not sure why she deleted me. At this point, not sure I care.

Another one from high school deleted her page, but when she came back didn't pick up our "friendship" again. It's okay. It felt awkward anyway.

One girl that deleted me I had gone to high school with. I had posted something about a couple not working things out. The husband was only thinking of himself and their kids will now have to split time between parents. The dad wanted to hook up with somebody half his age. Argument ensues. Her viewpoint was that the adults should part ways if that's what makes them happy. Sort of like the kids would rather grow up in two separate homes than one home with people arguing all the time. There was no way I was going to convince her to see my viewpoint and I wasn't going to agree with hers. There was no agree to disagree button so she pressed delete.

Then, there are those I've deleted. Guys that I've known since elementary. I got tired of looking at a muscle car for a profile picture and no activity whatsoever. It felt sort of like a creeper. Then, there was this one chick that I've known from middle school. When I would see her pop up on the news feed I would have flashbacks to this girl back in junior high. Apparently I had set her off one morning in the gym before school started. Here's this chick with curly hair and two inch thick glasses yelling at me. For whatever reason. Her voice was worse than nails on a chalk board. Delete.

There was one lady would change her profile picture like she changed her underwear. That part is fine. But in every shot there was a clear picture of her breasts. She left nothing to the imagination. I thought to myself, "Woman be proud of your femininity, but don't shove it down my facebook throat." Breasts aren't the only thing that make us feminine. It's so much more than that. I have breasts of my own. I know what they look like. I don't want to know what hers looks like. Delete. 

There are those that I got along well with in school and those are the ones that I want to keep up with. It may not be everyday, but it's when we can. There are those that I didn't get along with. If we didn't get along back then, why would we now? I promise, I'm not stuck back in high school. But, it shaped a part of me and I carry it around.

There were people that I deleted that we went to church together. Past tense. Some of the relationships in person felt forced. Not natural. There were a few people who would post something about every hour. That makes me crazy. I looked at it as if they were taking valuable space away from people who I really want to hear from. I figured if I had to hide somebody I might as well delete.

Then there were some people, from whatever walk of life, that I didn't feel like we had anything in common. If we weren't going to ever socialize in real life, why socialize in the electronic world?

I've even deleted family. I had one member get accusatory on a specific post. They were doing the exact thing that they were accusing me of doing. I don't have time for people inserting drama where there is none intended. This wasn't the first time that person had done this. Delete. There were others that I just got tired of being belittled by. I'm almost 42 years old and I deserve to be treated better than they treated me. That person has an excuse for everything. If it's not their idea it's not any good. Nobody can tell them anything. My experiences or opinions are not any less valuable because I am younger. Delete.

I think it's funny when facebook suggests people as friends and those people are those that have deleted me or that I have deleted. In this day and age you mean to tell me that this social network can't figure out the bug that suggests those people?? I smile and move on..

I'm not sure why others delete, but these are some of the reasons I have. I'm not saying that that makes it right or wrong. For some it's a "Get them before they get me" mentality. I've heard others say, "I have pictures of my kids on my page and I want access to them limited". This electronic revolution has taken the responsibility of face to face connections and turned it into a wall to hide behind. But, I guess it's here to stay. How we choose to deal with it is our choice.

I saw this video on my cousin's page. I love it! She happens to be an English teacher in South Korea (4.32 mark). 

Lamebook

Here's a great post from the web site Lamebook. Classic.....

JULIAN SMITH - 25 Things I Hate About Facebook

Although I happen to enjoy the notes, flair and most bumper stickers, he's pretty funny about the other things concerning facebook.

Facebook Fast

Some would say that life, in general, is a love/hate relationship. That's how I would describe facebook at times. It's high school all over again. It's not that facebook causes drama. It's not facebooks fault. A lot of it is unintentional. Just words.

I could put this out there:

 apenisinhishand.

 The clean version is "A pen is in his hand". Other people could read it another way. Then there's drama.I used to think facebook was like crack cocaine. I would jokingly call it, "crackbook". I would spend way too much time on it.  My wonderful hubby once said this about facebook, "Facebook is such a weird phenomenon, and I’m not sure most people really know what to do with it. It’s such a blessing and a curse at the same time that it’s hard to know how to interact, especially with people you don’t see outside of the FB world. Or, on the flip side, with people who you do see normally but feel freer to say things on FB that wouldn’t be said otherwise."

It doesn't help that facebook has made changes that make no sense at all. When I write on someone's wall, I don't want everyone on my friend list to view it on their news feed. When this person and that person comment on So and So's status, I could really care less. Especially when I don't know So and So from Adam. I hate to see fifteen items from the same person in one day. Don't they have something else to do, or do they view themselves as that important that every thought or viewpoint needs to be on facebook? Don't make me hide you. If I have to hide people then I wonder why are we "friends"? I'm a little bothered when facebook points out that I should be friends with someone who has previously deleted me as a friend. HUH?

Would we delete people as often if facebook sent a notice telling that person they were being deleted as a friend? 

There are those people who post something so lame, and on a bad day they'll get at least fifteen responses. On a good day it's twenty five or more. There are some people that post things that make them sound like they are on the brink of suicide. It's sad. I want to think that if I were in that place, facebook would be the last place I would want to reach out for help to keep me from committing suicide. I'm not really a fan of seeing what events other people are attending. I'm thinking electronic invitations worked well before, why don't they work well now? You don't even need a facebook page to use an electronic invitation. 

In one way facebook has been very good to me. It has reconnected me with best friends from my childhood. They are wonderful people who I agree with on many issues. Whether they are social, religious or political issues. They have been welcomed in my home and we have gotten along so wonderfully. It's good to have them back in my life. I  can credit facebook with that. 

But, the green-eyed monster sometimes rears his ugly head and I let it consume me. The green- eyed monster points out the events in family life that we weren't included in. When family comes to town and it's really not to see family. Or, the extended family. The green-eyed monster points out when people you see on a weekly basis stop commenting or having communication. I've got better things to worry about than, "Why weren't we invited?" Or, "Why are we friends on facebook, but you don't even say "hi" at church?"

I'm shoving the green-eyed monster into a closet somewhere. If that means shoving facebook into the closet, then so be it. My time on facebook will be very limited. It may even come to a halt.

 No more waiting for affirmation from others. I know I have affirmation from the one true God. 

The Mask of Facebook

Facebook is a funny thing. Most days. If you want humor, you'll find it. If you want drama, it's there also! I've seen friends live out their hurt feelings in real time on facebook. It's been unreal at times. People who could read the same sentence in two or more different perspectives. I've seen kids curse at old people and the party in between could care less. 

What makes it really interesting are the people of different political grooves. Let me make this crystal clear. My groove is of the conservative persuasion. I am as conservative as they come. For the most part. The ideology that the government should take care of us, "cradle to grave" makes me want to cringe. When liberal "friends" make sweeping generalizations and double standards and can't back it up drives me insane.Their logic is that they are more "tolerable" than most other groups. You're tolerant until someone disagrees with you and can back it up with logic and fact. I once heard a liberal say, "I rarely hear a conservative idea that actually solves a problem. It's all ideology". Really? There must be a huge ball of wax that needs to be plucked out of your ear because they make sense to me.  I knew there was a reason I didn't like you in high school. 

It's really sort of funny when they "jokingly" poke fun at Fox News by calling it Faux News. That's a little ridiculous. Fox News is wiping the floor with just about every other news channel out there. Liberals argue that Fox is biased. Well, only when you're watching Bill O'Reilly's show or Sean Hannity.  As if Steven Colbert, Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow don't have opinions? Who are you kidding? 

I am not saying that conservatives are perfect. We sure have our share of misfits. That's not what this is about. 

If you want to make a generalization about your political persuasion, have the balls to back it up. If you can't back it up and someone else can provide facts or logic that's rational and not insulting, then be open for discussion or don't put it on facebook in the first place.  Don't throw vague insults later on behind your facebook mask. If you can't handle a grown up conversation don't put it out there. 

facebook & "friends"

In the recent past I had posted a status on my facebook page. I said that I was "torn between two churches".

There's one church, very close to home. It's pretty much the only "traditional" Baptist church in Plano. it sort of "won" by default on the traditional front. It has a great group of "blue hairs" that my husband and I love. We've been close with them for years. It seems harder though to connect with people our own age. It seems close to impossible to get "leadership" to agree on anything within the department and when asked for volunteers there is nothing but the sound of crickets....

Then, the second church is a little further away. The worship is amazing. It takes traditional to a whole new level. There's even a group of "blue hairs" there as well. We have somewhat of a connection with people there our age. I just have to come to grips with the drive.

A week after I made my post my husband had breakfast with another leader of our Sunday school group. The other person isn't even on facebook. So, I can assume that one of my facebook "friends" probably gossiped to the other guy, instead of just asking me about it. Don't you just love it? How high school! He said something to my husband with the implication that says, "You need to control your wife and what she says on facebook". Hhmm..

Let me make something crystal clear. My husband IS the head of our house. I have no quandry with that. But, we discuss everything, we have to come to the same consensus on most everything. We are a partnership, not a dictatorship.

What was wrong with what I said? That instance makes me a little less torn between two churches. But, I don't want to leave this church out of anger. I want to hear the voice of God telling me where he wants my family and I to worship.

Facebook is a lot like high school.

Church is a lot like high school.

They both can have this feeling of a false sense of intimacy that eventually you just have to laugh out loud about.

My family and I are visiting the church that's a little farther away for a while. I'm not sure how this will end up.

I've got 'friends' on facebook that I go to church with. The funny thing is that some of those 'friends' don't even say "boo" to me on Sundays. What gives with that? Why even bother?