Gwen Was Here...

I would like to introduce you to someone I met roughly 46 years ago. I had the privilege of calling her "mom". She loved me fiercely. And with everything she had.

Gwen was the youngest of five children. She came in to this world on September 3, 1940. The baby of the family. Born to Robert Cecil and Opal Lela Porter in McKinney, TX. She grew up to be a beautiful and mischievous young woman. She loved to have fun with her friends. Reading passages in her yearbook makes me smile. She graduated from Garland High School in 1958.

She married my dad in 1968. Longing to be a mom, they had me the next year. That's where my story begins. Life was never dull with my parents. For lots of different reasons.

 My mom had a very creative side. Since our last name was Sack she had my birth announcements printed on Safeway sacks. If you look inside my dad's high school yearbook,  a lot of people called him, "Paper Sack". Why not use it for a sense of good?

My mom never lost her desire for fun. My parents would have people over often. Any reason to have a party, right?

My mom and Aunt Sharon at my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary.

My mom and dad at some get together with friends. Check out the 1970's pocket protector folks!

My mom would also like to go see her favorite NFL team, the Dallas Cowboys. She rooted for them til the day she took her last breath. Through all of their ups and downs. Some years were better than others. Truth!

She even took trips to Vegas to see her idol, Elvis. The 8x10s she took are in an album on my shelf now. When Elvis died, I think she took it as hard as if it were her own relative dying. Maybe even harder.






















She taught me the fine art of wrapping people's houses with toilet paper. It didn't stop us either that, a few times we wrapped the chief of police's house. His son was in our graduating class, and one of my friends had a long-lived crush on him. So that made him our target on occasion. My mom was the one who let us participate (quite often) in Chinese fire drills.

Her twenty years of experience as a hairstylist in one of the nicest parts of Dallas kept me motivated on trying new things. I had long hair until I decided that I wanted it cut and wanted some "bangs". She refused to cut it though. I had to ask one of the stylists she worked with to cut it. She cried that day.

My mom and I at a wedding where she did the bride's hair.

My mom knew how to throw a party. My birthday was always a special occasion. Some of my favorites are the one where we got to go on the Amtrak train between Dallas and Fort Worth. We had the whole car to our family and friends that came. One year she took my entire class to the aquarium at Fair Park. My sweet sixteen was supposed to be a surprise. But my aunt parked right next to my mom's car. I laugh about that still.

My mom survived a marriage with a partner who chose to find solace in a bottle. When my dad died she did what she had to make ends meet for her and I. She gave up being a hairstylist and found a job that offered insurance. She worked two jobs for several years. We were able to stay in our house and we got by. My mom had the strength and fortitude of any super human.

She knew what she had to do to make it through. Her resilience is something to be admired. I think her wicked sense of humor also got her through many of life's challenges. We laughed a lot.

One morning a seventeen year old ran  a red light. He t-boned my mom's car. After a month long stay at Parkland Trauma and a few months at Baylor rehab she was ready to come home. She lived the rest of her life with a metal rod in her left leg as a souvenir of that day. She was a fighter.

Then a diagnosis of diabetes came. It wasn't the end of the world, but changes needed to happen. I'm not sure I've ever seen someone cheat diabetes the way she did. Not sure I ever will.

In 1997 I met the man I would call my true love. In 1998 we married. Throughout our life together, I would almost promise you that my mom (at times) liked my husband more than she liked (possibly loved) me. There were lots of bumps in the road getting to that day with my mother, but we eventually got past those things.

My mom loved fiercely. She also lashed out at those she loved the most. She lived life the way she wanted. No apologies.

My mom wouldn't necessarily give you the shirt off of her back. But if you needed something she would buy 10 of them and give you at least 4 and she would keep the rest. My mom was known on a first name basis by the ladies at the major department stores in the area. She could outshop the best of them.

My mom had a long, sometimes difficult, road. In the last couple of years, diabetes changed her. Today she is free from diabetes. She is completely healed and in the loving arms of God.

Sometimes sorrow holds my hand and takes me down memory lane. Sometimes sorrow takes me down the road of regret.The regret of being stubborn, just like her. Opportunities wasted.

In my times of sorrow or regret, I close my eyes and rejoice in who makes me strong. He brings me peace.

 For a short time, Gwen was here. Daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother.


"Walk through the valley of the shadow. Don't wallow in it." Pastor Ellis at my mom's memorial.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. 1 Peter 1:3

Happy 7th Birthday!

My youngest won't be 7 (technically) until 11:17pm, but we'll celebrate all day that she came into our life. She is sweet. She is loads of fun. She is a wonderful gift from God that I am truly grateful for! She is  a little comedienne. She completes our family.

I couldn't imagine life without my youngest.

My wish for her is that she lives her life knowing that she is surrounded by people that love her and that want the best for her. I hope that she loves herself enough to respect her body and to treat it like the temple that it is. I hope that she feels God's Grace all around.

I pray that I can live up to the example that she deserves in her life. I hope she knows how much I love her. And always will. 

Happy 7th birthday to my Jaimee!

For Granted

Recently in honor of Hubby's 40th birthday, he was blessed with a hernia. Oh boy! A quick visit to the doctor and an appointment for surgery was made. They couldn't get his surgery scheduled until almost one o'clock. He had to go a very long time without eating. Poor Hubby.

Hubby and I were overwhelmed with comfort and peace when Dr. C prayed with us before the surgery. It was even the good doctor's suggestion. 

Surgery went well. It was over in an hour flat. When he was finally rolled back into our room, I was really glad to see him! Then we were on the road to recovering. Oh boy!

After we got home that night it didn't take long for my mind to wander and think about all of the things I take for granted when he's in tip top shape.

For instance:
1. His chipper personality. He's always in rare form. He makes me laugh, and smile all of the time. It was hard to see him in pain and groggy and very uncomfortable.
2. I took for granted that he does the dishes after I cook. I haven't done so much cooking AND cleaning in my life!
3. His going to work everyday. We've had A LOT of quality time together. Alone time can be good at times.
4. Sleep. I feel bad that he can't sleep through the night. When he's up, usually I'm up.
5. I took for granted every time he did the floors. I hate cleaning the floors. They are my kryptonite.
6. I took for granted all of the tickling I have dished out to him. I haven't been able to tickle or harass him in a week. It pains me! I have to keep my hands to myself. I've been harassing the dog more than usual.
7. I took for granted sex. D'UH! Enough said.

Hopefully my time with a maimed man is coming to a close. The recovery has taken longer than we had hoped. But,  I'm thankful that each day brings Hubby a little more comfort. A little more sleep at night. A little bit closer to "back to normal".

♥

Caviar and Donuts

Let me tell you, an anniversary is worth celebrating! It's worth acknowledging all that you have gone through in the last year, and all that you look forward to in the future. It's a wonderful time away from the kids, to remind ourselves that we are husband and wife before we are mom and dad. Last but not least, it was a great excuse to bring out the gorgeous Ralph Lauren one shoulder navy dress* out of the closet!

We started out going to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. It's probably overpriced to many, but for one special night out of the year it's worth it. Hubby had called ahead and made our reservation and mentioned that it was our anniversary. As we were seated, our hostess scattered rose petals across the table.

After we had ordered our meal, the waiter had brought out a small plate of caviar with embellishments. Compliments of the staff. Hubby and I were in awe. We had never tried caviar before, so we had no idea what we were in for. We took one for the team and tried it. It was the closest to a fishy taste without the texture. I like fish, but I want the texture when I eat something fishy. 

When we got our main coarse, it was one of the most perfect steaks I've ever had. Who do I have to pay to teach me how to make a steak this good? I want to know the secrets!! I savored every wonderful bite. 

At the end we knew that we shouldn't, but how could we pass up dessert on our one night at one of the best restaurants in town? But we didn't pick one of the traditional desserts on the menu. We actually picked cinnamon sugar donuts with warm chocolate sauce and whipped cream. I've never had a donut like this. 

In our Saturday night finest we've started the meal with caviar and ended it with donuts. How romantic! It was  a wonderful atmosphere, great food and terrific company!

When we were done with dinner the subject of what to do next popped up. We thought about going to the movie or going to hang out at the bookstore. Hhmm....then Reunion Tower popped into my brain. I thought it would be fun to go to the top of the tower and see the wonderful city and watch the sun go down. Wolfgang Puck has a restaurant at the top of the tower called Wolfgang Puck's 560. It's named 560 because it's 560 feet up in the air. We had no room left for any more food, so we hung out in the bar and watched the city go from early dusk to night time. It's really unique at 560 because the floor rotates, very gently and slowly. It takes about an hour to turn completely around and see the wonderful city. 

Our next night out, it's a shoe in that we'll make reservations for 560. Hubby and I look forward to spending a nice dinner time out with this gorgeous view. 

*awesome purchase for $45 from refinestyle.com, brand new with the tags still on it. 

Thirteen

It is considered to be bad luck by many in the Western culture to dine with 13 people at the table.

This may be because of the Last Supper - Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve disciples betrayed Jesus.


The card deck includes 13 hearts, 13 spades, 13 squares, 13 clubs


Benjamin Franklin
Virtues:

1. TEMPERANCE.	Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2. SILENCE.	Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
3. ORDER.	Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4. RESOLUTION.	Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. FRUGALITY.	Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
6. INDUSTRY.	Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. SINCERITY.	Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. JUSTICE.	Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. MODERATION.	Avoid extreams; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10.CLEANLINESS.	Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.
11.TRANQUILLITY.	Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12. CHASTITY.	Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
13. HUMILITY.	Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

The fashionable Savoy Hotel in London, England does not take any chances. If you book a table for a party of thirteen, you will find that the table has been set for fourteen guests. Kasper, the black cat will be joining you for dinner. Kasper is the three foot sculpture cat that resides at the Savoy Hotel.

The business woman, Mary Kay Ash believed thirteen was a very lucky number. The company was founded Friday, September 13, 1963. The Mary Kay headquarters has thirteen floors and thirteen passenger elevators

Sometimes the number 13 is a bad thing. Sometimes a good thing. Chalk this one up under the good thirteen file. On May 16, I get to celebrate my thirteenth wedding anniversary. 

Thirteen years of growing. Growing together into a family. Growing in love. Growing older. 

Thirteen years of laughter. Silly, and sometimes stupid, jokes. 

Thirteen years of loving my best friend. Loving through all of the good, bad and the ugly. 


Thirteen years of not wanting to be apart if I don't have to be. 


Thirteen years of not being able to stay mad very long at the man I love. We've worked through lots of things and I look forward to working through what we haven't yet. 

Thirteen years of everyday life. More ups than downs. Together. I wouldn't trade it for anything or anyone.

He May Not Want To, But I Know He Can!

Last Thursday was a day of many things around here. It was yet another visit for me at the dentist office with sedation! Ugh!! I wasn't even able to enjoy the Valium coated haze that lay before me. Coherency during one of these visits is a major biotch!! 

Hubby dropped me off at the dentist at 9am sharp. There was time for me to sit in an awfully cold faux leather dentist chair, with apparently a new dental assistant who didn't say a word. She (and I) was just waiting for my favorite dental hygienist to have her chair free so we could all get started. One of the many reasons S is my favorite is because of her bedside manor. She offered the warmed up neck pillow and a blanket to boot. She gets that it's nothing personal, but she tries and makes me as comfortable as possible. After I was taken care of Hubby was off to play Mr. Mom. 

Thursday was also payday. For us that means a run to the bank and getting our budget in order for the next two weeks. Once the cash runs out, the spending is over. 

Next, our youngest was VIP for the week in Kindergarten. On that specific day we had to provide a snack for the class with the letter of the week (H) in the name. Good luck Hubby! I just told him to get the chewy chocolate chip fiber bars and that'd be fine. He got them up to the school in plenty of time. 

After getting me home to go to bed he had a reprieve. For a little while. He got to watch a couple of episodes of Dr. Who then it was time to get the kids. I had told the girls at least three times before school that daddy was doing pick up duty that afternoon. He had gone to get them in the car because it was below freezing. Do you think they were there? NOPE! Hubby had a minor heart attack because the two children that had been told to wait for daddy - didn't. 

Soon after school is over on Thursdays comes swim class. It's time to tackle the bathing suits and getting towels together with goggles in tow. With bags filled with dry clothes to change into they were off and on time. With both kids out of class by 5 o'clock the question of dinner arises. So, it's off to Little Caesar's to bring home some very inexpensive, but awfully convenient pizza for dinner. 

Dinner came and went in a flash and it was time to shower the chlorine out of the kids. Once cleaned up and in pajama's it's bedtime. It's been a busy day. 

By 8:30 Hubby was asleep. I had been sleeping for half of the day, so I was almost wide awake. He stepped up to the plate. Not that I didn't think he could. He was Hubby, mommy AND daddy. He didn't complain. Not once. 

Although I may need reminders once in a while, he is a wonderful man. I am very lucky that I have him for my husband. I appreciate all that he does and everything he is. He is filled with a very giving and loving spirit. There will never be another who could fill those shoes. He may not ever want to trade jobs, but at least I know he can*. 

*Ha! Like that would ever happen. It's not like I want to go out to the real world either. 

The Friday Morning Party Train

Fridays, by far, are my most favorite day! On Friday mornings there is a party in my head and in my heart. They are warm and fuzzy even when it's 25 degrees outside. It's the kick off to the weekend. A kick off to fun. Most of the time. 

My children haven't gotten this memo apparently. I tell my kids the tv gets turned off at 6:30 in the morning. There is breakfast to be had. There are clothes to put on. Hair and teeth to brush. There are backpacks to get together and out the door we go so I can get to my crossing guard duty. 

Leave it to my youngest and most opinionated* to change her mind about what she wants to wear, what socks she wants and how she wants to wear her hair.  It drives me nuts. I don't have time for her to change her mind 20 times. We get into an argument. Daddy backs me up and youngest is almost in tears. 

I have to tell my oldest at least three times to finish eating instead of playing with the dog. Three times. I don't have the clothing argument with her because she doesn't care what she wears. Yet. But she acts as if I've just beaten her with a stick for telling her to eat instead of playing with the dog. She could have done that instead of watching tv. 

When we get into the car, their backpacks should be on their backs. Not back in the house. It's 25 degrees outside and I've told them more than once that their jackets should be zipped. Are they?? 

THESE CHILDREN NEED TO GET ON BOARD THE FRIDAY MORNING PARTY TRAIN!!!!! Friday mornings shouldn't suck like this last one. It's supposed to be "Fabulous Friday" around our house. 

*who picks out her clothes the night before

Relationships and Their Ups and Downs

William James* once said, "Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." Forget conflict, isn't everything better when your attitude is in check? On most days my attitude longs to be different. Then, when striving to be different with people, some of those people aren't willing to let that change or deepening happen. It's a constant battle of me wanting to be better and others putting me down for wanting to be that change.

On most days I kid that if you have nothing nice to say come sit by me.** I love to have a good time, and kid around. I have a sarcastic sense of self. Whether trying to meet new people and forging new bonds or repairing or deepening those that are already in place seem to be a challenge. I can make all the changes I want to in me, but if others aren't willing to let those changes come to fruition and let the relationship move beyond and into what it could be, I'm still stuck.

Take for instance, during my crossing guard duty I have some of the nicest moms come through. They are always nice and wanting to have some conversation. No matter how short it might be. I even have people drive through who aren't dropping kids off and they wave! There are other moms that come through and it's as if I need to roll out a red carpet for them. They're still back in high school thumbing their noses at the chick who's working the corner. To give me the time of day would be against their religion. Whatever. 

When we first started attending a certain church I thought to myself, "Let's try and invite people over for conversation and get to know each other". I was going to break out of my shell and try to be social. So we did. I love having people over. Hospitality is probably my only spiritual gift, but hey, it's a gift. We invited lots of people over a few different times. I thought a good time was had by all but it was never reciprocated. Either we were geographically undesirable or personality wise undesirable. I don't know. That's here nor there. Sometimes I like to invite people over for no reason. Just to spend time with them. But, after so many "no"'s I just quit asking. I can take a hint.

What to do? Go ahead and put the walls back up? Then again, walls are no fun when they're put up in my face from others. It's almost exhausting with how many walls there are to keep up with. I don't want to give up hope that people will one day be more receptive, but alas, I can't force them to feel something they aren't ever going to feel. 

I'm not sure what my goal is to change things or if they can be changed. Is it just life or our fate that determines how many or how few people we get close to? Is it parental upbringing or social status, life experiences or political/religious views? It's out of my control and out of my hands.

I have to give it up to Him. I have to keep making the changes in my life that lift Him up. I don't think I've lost hope just yet. 

*American philosopher and psychologist

** Steel Magnolias has some of the best movie quotes of all time

Be Careful What We Wish For

A few weeks ago we were traveling in the car. I'm not sure why or how the subject came up, but we were talking about President Obama. My oldest says from the back, "I wish he would die". My heart sank at that moment. I may not agree with any of his policies, but I definitely don't wish for his demise from this earth.

I thought to myself, he is a man just like my Hubby. He has a wife and two young daughters. He is trying to do what he believes is the right thing for this country*. Granted, my Hubby isn't leader of the free world, but that could only be a matter of time**. Like my Hubby, he is surrounded by family and friends that love him. In just a couple of short years he will go back to private life. 

I once saw someone*** on facebook refer to him as Satan. Are you kidding me? People give him way too much power and credit when he is referred to in that way. I've read the Bible. I know what Satan can do, and Obama comes nowhere near. He is a mere mortal like the rest of us. Why should we sink to the level of the people who would refer to President Bush as Hitler and burn him in effigy? 

I quickly corrected my daughter about wishing people would die. I asked her how she would feel if someone said that about her father. 

I love my daughters and wish for them to come into their own strengths and viewpoints where politics are concerned. Not to just follow their parents like sheople in a herd. We should pray for the office of President. Whether we agree with who is in that office or not. We can pray for change. We can vote change. 

*don't get me started. 

** ;) one can dream right? He sure would be great at it. 

****on most days she is certifiably CRAZY.

She Insists On Dressing Herself

The teachers at my kids school must think I'm either crazy or dirt poor. I'm not sure which. On most days I'm not sure I care. My youngest has gotten into a phase where she insists on choosing her own clothes every day. On most mornings when we need to be out the door by 7:10am I am not about to go to battle over clothes. 

Today when we left the house it was 45 degrees outside. By the outfit my youngest is wearing you would think it's 85 degrees. Granted it will get up to the 60's today, but it will be a while until then. I at least made sure she had her puffy coat on. She liked it at the time she tried it on, but of course, she doesn't like it anymore*. 

So, dear sweet teachers: trust me. I keep hoping that she will learn a lesson and dress a little more warmly. She is a very opinionated little blessing from God. I'm not going to die on the battlefield of dress code until she tries to leave my house looking like a two bit tramp. 

* I think I liked her a little better before she could express so many opinions. She changes her mind constantly and it drives me batsh*t crazy. 

American Girl

American Girls aren't cheap! Wait a minute, some might be, but not the dolls for heavens sake. The dolls are about as high maintenance as a real, live girl! There's clothes, furniture, books and even a doll hair salon at the American Girl store. 

I thought it would be fun to kick off the Thanksgiving break by taking my girls to the American Girl store and letting them choose a new hairstyle for their doll. I gave them a budget of $15 per doll. I think I was possibly even more excited about this little outing that my girls were. 

We went walking around the Galleria while waiting for the dolls to get done. I wanted to get back to the salon in time to actually see the dolls getting their hair done. We were late getting back so we missed the actual hair styling. They were just waiting for us in a special little cubby that they use to hold the dolls in. My girls loved the hairstyles they had chosen. 

It was my hope that this new hairstyle would last at least a month. I made that clear to my girls as well. I thought that was very reasonable. Apparently, it wasn't. My oldest came to me the NEXT DAY and asked if she could take her dolls hair down. I thought if either of them would have done this it was surely going to be my youngest. 

After I picked my jaw up off of the ground I told her, "If that's what you really want to do." I did add that I wasn't about to pay for another hairstyle. I explained that she would have to save up the money for the next one*. So down came the hair and pretty ribbons. I was crushed, but tried to hide it as much as I could. 

Chalk another lesson up to motherhood. 

*Ha! That won't be happening anytime soon. 

The Things I Love and I Am Grateful For

 The first three are meant to be in this order:

1. The grace that God has showered over me in my life. That Christ died for me.
2.  My husband. He is my best friend. My rock. My love.
3. My kids. The fun and excitement they bring to life. The roller coaster it is bringing them to adulthood.

The rest are not meant to be in any specific order:

4. Staying up late and sleeping in the next morning
5. The smell of coffee. I make a great cup of coffee, so my husband tells me. I love the smell, don't get the      taste.
6. Olives
7. My gardenia bush. I've had it for 5 years and I haven't killed it yet. It blooms!
8. Being over the age of 40.
9. Christmas. The spirit of the season is overwhelming.
10. Air conditioning. I live in Texas, need I say more?
11. Dresses. They are graceful. They are feminine. They are sexy. They distinguish the female body from the male. Done right, it leave something to the imagination.
12. Ice cream. Ever had Blue Bell's White Chocolate Almond?
13. Hosting people in my home.
14. Cupcakes. If you haven't tried them from Sugar Queen Cakes at Willow Bend, run now!
15. Being able to stay at home and be there for my husband and kids.
16. Skeleton keys. They hold a past to my favorite pieces of furniture from my grandmother.
17. The smell of a freshly painted room
18. Rainy days and nights. As long as I'm able to enjoy them at home.
19. Most get togethers with my extended family. One of my cousins has three kids that are fun to be with. My aunts are fun also. They are just funny being themselves.
20. Lip gloss. I happen to think I have great lips. Why not accentuate that?
21. Facials. For me, it's the ultimate in pampering.
22. Shopping. It's fun. It's necessary.
23. Living in a free country.
24. Fellowship with friends.
25. Old jewelry from my great grandmother. She was grace and elegance until the day she died.
26. My experiences. It has brought me to where I am today.
27. A clean house.
28. Dogs. They are playful. They are cute. They have so much more personality that lame cats.
29. Pringles. Just salty, bad for you goodness.
30. Nitrous oxide. It's the only way to get me through a dental appointment.
31. Tex-Mex
32. Weekends. Woohoo! Family time.
33. The bond that my kids share. Here's to stories of how weird their parents were after my husband and I   are gone.
34. The State Fair of Texas. What a fun time! People watching, food eating, game playing fun.
35. Texting. Even if my husband is in a big time meeting, we can still talk.
36. Getting and giving cards by snail mail. It's so much more fun to open cards than bills!
37. The DVR. I can now record my favorite shows and not have to watch the commercials.
38. Easter. It brings the remembrance of Christs' resurrection. A season of hope.
39. Hair color. The thought of going through life with completely gray hair sort of frightens me at my young       age.
40. Chocolate. In any form, white, dark or milk it's greatness.
41. Flowers. Any but roses. Whether in my yard or in a vase, beautiful.

My Wants and Needs

God bless my husband! Especially when I have a crazy idea or get bored. This last weekend was a little bit of a tailspin that exhausted my husband. It all started on Saturday when Craig did his part of mowing and I grabbed the weed wacker. We knocked it out and then we wanted to go get some lunch! We worked hard and our stomachs were turning in on themselves. It wasn't pretty. 

We finished our wonderful little Tex-Mex lunch and asked out loud, "What do we do next?". We weren't able to find any open houses to walk through, so I said we could go visit our favorite little new home saleslady and dream. The neighborhood we had looked at almost a year ago was closing out and the prices were SLASHED. It was INSANE. Well, insane is a strong word. We were almost sucked in a year ago until we had our level headed friends join us and give their objective opinion. We left Saturday with floor plans in hand again after taking a long look at the community pool and play area. We studied the floor plans and picked the floor plans that best fit our wants. Yes, I said "wants" and not "needs". I know I have what I need. 

After choosing a few perfect floor plans, we then glanced at the prices. Hopes were a little dashed because it would double our mortgage if we did a fifteen year note. So, Sunday afternoon we went to look at some other build opportunities in Sachse. This one neighborhood left A LOT to be desired. The surrounding neighbors had fences falling down, or it backed up to some commercial property. Then we came across another neighborhood with great neighborhood drive up appeal. It's right by Fire Wheel golf course. The houses were beautiful. This builder provided nicer standard options that the one we had revisited the previous day. Then I had the audacity to ask if there was an amenity center. The wonderful saleslady replied, "There's a pond". Huh? I don't swim in ponds. Why have neighborhood association dues when there is no amenity center? What's the point? 

I'm looking at three options, First, we could go forward in the process of building a home from a builder in a community that has great neighborhood drive up, beautiful homes and a "pond" for an amenity center. Second, build a home in the Plano neighborhood where everything is an upgrade, and the amenity center is fun, fun, fun. Third, stay in the house we are in and continue the lengthy process of slowly removing any traces of the former owners. 

See what I mean? My husbands brain is spinning after I get done with him. He loves me anyway. I love him! I will never be able to thank him enough for putting up with my shenanigans. I may have a lot of wants, that aren't necessary. It's fun to daydream. The daydreams quickly pass.  I have everything I need. My husband is both to me. I want him and need him. As long as we are together, I'll be happy anywhere. 

Only By God's Grace

I love my place in life. For the most part. I love my husband. I love my kids. I love my dear friends that are always there for me. Life is good. I'd have to admit that 20 years or more ago, I never dreamed that I would be where I am at this point in my life. I am a very lucky girl.

There is something that my husband has said to me that has stuck with me, because I know deep down it's probably true. He's said in the past, "It's a wonder you turned out so normal". I'd have to admit that the people that I know who had a "normal" upbringing is a minority. Some of us had an alcoholic for a parent(s). Others had a hoarder, or someone who wasn't emotionally available to them. Others who had a parent that just saw things a little greener on the other side of the fence and left a parent to fend for themselves and the kids. Some people I know had to deal with death of a parent much too soon.

Can we blame the flower power of the 1960's or the hippy motto of free love that flowed in the 1970's? What about the excess of the 1980's? It's amazing that each generation has some sort of devilish influence that just wants to tear down the values of family and what a family should be.

At some point God grabbed a hold of me and I was awake enough to realize it. Praise God. I knew from my past what I didn't want for my marriage and kids. I know I am no June Cleaver, but my kids aren't going to grow up the way I did. They deserve the best that their parents can give. My kids will not know what it's like to have an alcoholic for a parent. Or a hoarder. They will not know what it's like to have a parent insult their appearance, or give them conditional love.

God still has a lot of work to do on me. I like to joke that my spiritual gift is a "cynical or critical spirit". But, I praise God everyday for the miracle that He has done in my life. He will soften my critical spirit over time. If I just let Him.

Three reasons why the individual insurance mandate is unconstitutional

The Cato Institute has three well-reasoned arguments for why the individual mandate for health-care insurance is not constitutional.

Love & Hate

I have a love/hate relationship with my periodontist. I know hate is a strong word, but it's the first thing that comes to me when I think of how I feel when I'm in her chair. I like her a lot when I'm not in her chair. She seems like a great lady. I hate the pain she causes me on a continuous basis.

A couple of weeks ago I had surgery on my gums. Apparently I had too much. This seems quite ironic after a lifetime of dentists telling me I was actually brushing too hard and making them recede. Go figure. I had my follow up appointment to make sure everything was healing just a couple of days ago.

I get in the chair. I'm going so far down that my feet are above my head, I'm sure. She comes at me with the bright light that could rival the sun and this 22nd century looking caterpillar on a stick. I'm supposed to brush that thing between my teeth on a daily basis for the rest of my life. Here we go. I have a mirror in hand, bright light and the caterpillar on a stick. BAM! She hits a spot that has been very sensitive since my surgery. I wanted to take that mirror and bash her in the head. Is it assault if she started it? It felt like a nerve was exposed. That's how bad it felt.

Feet above head, bright light, caterpillar and trying to hold a mirror at the same time. It's my turn now. She's telling me how I'm doing it wrong and how I need to position it to get it between my teeth right. Did I mention I was also trying to do this and maneuver my cheek, that happens to be a little in the way, but good gosh, I need that cheek! It's not going anywhere. What the hell do you expect when I'm practically upside down?!?!??! Who brushes their teeth upside down?!?!?!?!?

Finally I'm aloud to get out of the chair. I'm in a bad mood. She's trying to make nice and ask about my husband who she is calling by the wrong name, AGAIN. She's also asking if I was named after Elvis' daughter. I hate that question. Yes. I. Was. But I spell my first name a lot cooler!

I have to go back in a month for a cleaning. If I ever have to go back after that, I may just boycott dentists all together.

My 40th Birthday

I recently had the best birthday party ever!! We had food, we had cake, we had a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!! We had family, friends, and neighbors.

One family happens to be neighbors. They are a fun couple with 2 great kids! Their oldest child is in school with our oldest kid. Their youngest has eyes to die for! The husband of the couple is a great handyman. He's one of those neighbors you wish your nerd husband could be more like. The wife of the couple is hysterical! She's as fun as can be.

Another couple that was there, we go to church with. They're in the next stage of life, but we're as close as family. They are great role models for my husband and I. They've been in our life for almost 8 years or so. We have lunch with them often after church. They're great listeners and advice givers.

Another couple, the husband works with my husband. They've worked together for 10 years. He's a great unofficial book club adviser. He's the one that recommended, "The Shack" and "The Circle Trilogy" to my husband.

We also had a couple who grew up with my husband. They've been lifelong friends. The husband of the couple is the reason my husband and I met to begin with. The wife of the couple is a very strong and faithful young lady! She's very wise and book smart.

My very good friend was also there helping with all of the festivities. She's the best friend a girl could ask for! She's the sister I wish I had! She's kind, patient, a spiritual and political giant. Her husband is a laugh riot. With their 3 boys, they are never bored!!

Another couple are friends from when we went to HGBC. They had been away for a while on the mission field. I was sad to see them go. Now, I'm glad they are back. They have the best sense of humor. I am glad they are back in our lives!

Then of course, we have family. There were aunts, cousins, in laws and mom. It was a thrill to see my mom and her 2 sisters in the same room again. They are so funny! Three old ladies who at times have trouble hearing. There was a cousin who just couldn't stop with those "big brotherly" type of jabs. Quite annoying at times. Oh well. How his wife puts up with him is beyond me. JK. Another cousin couldn't make it, but his wife did come. She's fun to have around, but she seemed a little quiet most of the time. My in laws were pretty quiet also and mostly kept to themselves. I'm not sure if it's shyness or maybe they just didn't feel socializing. My mom is the short one running around with the weird bun in the back of her head.

Then we have my husband. The tallest one of the bunch. The one who loves me without condition. Who put up with the painful organizing of it all. The one who opened his wallet so that his wife could celebrate the big 4-0. I get to look forward to coordinating his celebration of the big 4-0. He still has 3 years to go, though. It's great to be us! We make a great team. I cherish what I have in him.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Is There Really Any Such Thing As Sweet Revenge?

In my younger years, there's no telling how many boys I was dumped by. It doesn't really matter these days. I won the husband lottery and that's all that matters!

Recently I found out that a boy that I thought I would marry, divorced the girl he dumped me for. I found out that she actually cheated on him and that he had had enough, so he filed for divorce. At first, I chuckled. I thought for a brief moment, "How sweet". But, then I thought, "No, that's pretty mean. I couldn't imagine doing that to my husband". The pain that it would cause my husband, and my kids. I don't want to ever have to feel that kind of pain, or cause that kind of pain. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. It surprised me that she would do something so mean. I thought maybe there was really something true between them. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry they had to go through that to find out. I wish I could ask her, "What were you thinking?".

I have no regrets. The boys I was dumped by, the mistakes that I made, led me to my husband. We have something real. We have something unconditional. We have something for a lifetime. It wouldn't and shouldn't have worked out with the other boy anyway for a multitude of reasons.

People are sometimes cruel to one another, for no good reason. I wish it weren't that way.

This family has been cooped up in the house since last Saturday...it's now Tuesday and they've called for an ice storm tonight. JOY!!! There is only so much you can do when at any given time someone is running a fever, or coughing and hacking or just being a blob. This has not been fun!

BUT, I have made my motto for this year, "2009, a year of thankfulness". We are together, we WILL get over this. We have heat to keep us warm. We have food to tide us over. We have plenty of Tylenol and other meds. We have plenty of episodes of "The Twilight Zone" on the dvr from New Years to pass the time. This will not last forever.

We get to look forward to the ice melting. We get to look forward to a fun Valentine's Day with the kids. We get to look forward to Jaimee's 4th birthday and my 40th birthday!!! I am excited. We get to look forward the Spring season.

Just look forward!!!

My Marriage Rocks!

In the midst of all the turmoil this weekend, my marriage is stronger than ever! Right when our troubles began, we made a pact to not get mad at each other. It was nobody's fault. The power train going out on my car is some freak thing, that will either get fixed or, find it's way to the auction block!

I have a good man. I have a great man! I need to tell him more often. Me and my children are his priorities. You can't beat that. We work well together. The other weekend when my in laws bought our treadmill, we got the beast of a treadmill out of our bedroom before the in laws got there. We are a great team! God gave me a wonderful gift in my husband. He may not know how to fix a toilet the right way, or build a tree house, but, he truly loves me. He's a wonderful father. I can look in the eyes of my girls and tell them, when they grow up they need to find somebody to marry just like my husband. How many wives can say that about their husbands? He's a great provider. I'd rather have my husband than somebody that can fix a toilet the right way, who is a complete and utter jerk! Who wants a know it all jerk?