The Hall Pass Has Departed

During the week of the 4th of July, Hubby was on vacation*. After we got our oldest off to her first church camp we were free to stay up late and sleep in just as late. Movies were on the schedule as well. On the menu was what we like to call a "stupid funny"** movie and an alleged crime "thriller". 

The first movie that we scratched off of our list was Hall Pass. We knew going in that it was about two married couples and that the men get a week off of marriage. We hardly found any humor in this one. One couple ended up crossing the line physically and the other crossed the line emotionally. There was also a seen where Owen Wilson is at a fitness club and he falls asleep in the whirlpool. His character starts slipping into the whirlpool, and two men come to his rescue to pull him out of the whirlpool. NAKED. Full frontal. One of the two men was black. The other white. The movie puts in your face*** the stereotype of the black man's member and then the stereotype of the white man's member. It also didn't help that the hair and makeup people did their best to make Owen Wilson look so unbelievably unattractive. He was H.O.T. in Behind Enemy Lines! What more should we expect from the same people who directed There's Something About Mary and Dumb and Dumber. 

The next movie that we knocked off the list was The Departed. It was directed by Martin Scorsese and nominated for several Academy Awards.  Most outlets describe it as a crime thriller. I describe it as very stressful and just plain awful. The movie was apparently inspired**** by the time that James "Whitey" Bulger served as leader of the Winter Hill gang in Boston, Massachusetts. It was a tale of a crooked cop whose paycheck was being supplemented by the crime boss, and another cop trying to infiltrate the crime organization to bring it down. Of course with mob mentality there was more than enough bloodshed. The kind brought about by shooting people in the head. There was more fake brain matter than I care to think of and see. 

I want my time back from both of those movies*****.  I sometimes wish that I could open the top of my head and pour bleach in to erase any memory of those movies. Where are the good movies? I want good, silly humor without nudity. I would love to see a true "thriller" movie without all of the gore. Did I say already that I want my time back???

*Yeah! 

**Mindless humor 

***and Owen Wilson's face

****There's nothing inspiring about this film

*****I'm pretty sure Hubby feels the same

Leonardo, I Really Want to Like Your Movies...

Recently, Hubby and I saw Inception. It was interesting at first. The whole concept of entering other people's dreams and all was a little fascinating, if not George Orwellian. It jumped around so much it made my head spin. Then came the ending. Are you kidding me? Apparently it took Christopher Nolan* nine years to write this movie and that's the ending I get?

After that movie was over I started thinking about all of the movies that we had seen with Leonardo DiCaprio in them. Granted, we haven't seen all of them, but we've seen a few. 

The last one we saw before Inception was Shutter Island. DiCaprio plays a detective who is investigating the disappearance of a patient. It's set back in the 1950's when psych hospitals were performing lobotomies and doing electro-shock therapy. It's a crazy turn of events and another movie where it's not what you think. A complete and total twist at the end. 

Then we go back ten years to The Beach. A young American goes traveling to Thailand** and he comes across a map that will lead him to a tropical paradise. This was what the trailer portrayed anyway. To get to the tropical paradise you have to cross paths with marijuana farmers who are in possession of AK-47's. They shoot first and ask questions later. Once another "beacher" is attacked by a shark and the colony refuses to get a doctor's help they take him out to the wooded part of this island to die alone so he won't disturb the "happy paradise" they have. Their fear is that if more people find out about it, their paradise will be no more. Paradise is lost when the leader is forced to make a decision that would horrify the entire colony. The paradise seekers are brought back down to earth and decide it's not all its cracked up to be and head home. You think? 

Then, there's Titanic. Seriously, haven't we all broken out in, "I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."? I felt bad for the guy freezing to death in the water and all, but seriously? Also, I'm a sap. I like for my guy and girl to get together at the end. Tie a pretty bow around it and call it done.

These are all very clever movies in their own right, but sometimes - and every time in Leonardo's case - it is possible to be too clever by half. M. Night Shyamalan shares this same fate with his movies. They both seem to be seeking to make a point, but in the end, the only point they have made is one that leaves a sharp pain in my   arse.

*The Dark Knight

**No thank you!