facebook & "friends"

In the recent past I had posted a status on my facebook page. I said that I was "torn between two churches".

There's one church, very close to home. It's pretty much the only "traditional" Baptist church in Plano. it sort of "won" by default on the traditional front. It has a great group of "blue hairs" that my husband and I love. We've been close with them for years. It seems harder though to connect with people our own age. It seems close to impossible to get "leadership" to agree on anything within the department and when asked for volunteers there is nothing but the sound of crickets....

Then, the second church is a little further away. The worship is amazing. It takes traditional to a whole new level. There's even a group of "blue hairs" there as well. We have somewhat of a connection with people there our age. I just have to come to grips with the drive.

A week after I made my post my husband had breakfast with another leader of our Sunday school group. The other person isn't even on facebook. So, I can assume that one of my facebook "friends" probably gossiped to the other guy, instead of just asking me about it. Don't you just love it? How high school! He said something to my husband with the implication that says, "You need to control your wife and what she says on facebook". Hhmm..

Let me make something crystal clear. My husband IS the head of our house. I have no quandry with that. But, we discuss everything, we have to come to the same consensus on most everything. We are a partnership, not a dictatorship.

What was wrong with what I said? That instance makes me a little less torn between two churches. But, I don't want to leave this church out of anger. I want to hear the voice of God telling me where he wants my family and I to worship.

Facebook is a lot like high school.

Church is a lot like high school.

They both can have this feeling of a false sense of intimacy that eventually you just have to laugh out loud about.

My family and I are visiting the church that's a little farther away for a while. I'm not sure how this will end up.

I've got 'friends' on facebook that I go to church with. The funny thing is that some of those 'friends' don't even say "boo" to me on Sundays. What gives with that? Why even bother?

ABC's "Wife Swap"

You know, I'll admit it. I watch "Wife Swap". It helps convince me of my "normalcy". It used to be all in fun. People just switching places for a couple of weeks and taking some learned lessons from that time from other people.

I'm not sure I can stand it much longer. It's gotten nasty. The people are getting nasty in their words and actions. They belittle the other to beat them down, to make themselves seem "better". It's ugly now.

Then, of course you have people leaving to stay in motels because of something that was said or done. They aren't willing to trade places or participate in the rule change. Have they not watched this show before??? This isn't a new aspect of the show. It's the way it has always been. So, this should be of no surprise!!!

I'm done! I have better things to do with my time! There is no lesson to be learned from this show. I guess there's one lesson for me, I'm convinced I'm normal.

My 40th Birthday

I recently had the best birthday party ever!! We had food, we had cake, we had a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!! We had family, friends, and neighbors.

One family happens to be neighbors. They are a fun couple with 2 great kids! Their oldest child is in school with our oldest kid. Their youngest has eyes to die for! The husband of the couple is a great handyman. He's one of those neighbors you wish your nerd husband could be more like. The wife of the couple is hysterical! She's as fun as can be.

Another couple that was there, we go to church with. They're in the next stage of life, but we're as close as family. They are great role models for my husband and I. They've been in our life for almost 8 years or so. We have lunch with them often after church. They're great listeners and advice givers.

Another couple, the husband works with my husband. They've worked together for 10 years. He's a great unofficial book club adviser. He's the one that recommended, "The Shack" and "The Circle Trilogy" to my husband.

We also had a couple who grew up with my husband. They've been lifelong friends. The husband of the couple is the reason my husband and I met to begin with. The wife of the couple is a very strong and faithful young lady! She's very wise and book smart.

My very good friend was also there helping with all of the festivities. She's the best friend a girl could ask for! She's the sister I wish I had! She's kind, patient, a spiritual and political giant. Her husband is a laugh riot. With their 3 boys, they are never bored!!

Another couple are friends from when we went to HGBC. They had been away for a while on the mission field. I was sad to see them go. Now, I'm glad they are back. They have the best sense of humor. I am glad they are back in our lives!

Then of course, we have family. There were aunts, cousins, in laws and mom. It was a thrill to see my mom and her 2 sisters in the same room again. They are so funny! Three old ladies who at times have trouble hearing. There was a cousin who just couldn't stop with those "big brotherly" type of jabs. Quite annoying at times. Oh well. How his wife puts up with him is beyond me. JK. Another cousin couldn't make it, but his wife did come. She's fun to have around, but she seemed a little quiet most of the time. My in laws were pretty quiet also and mostly kept to themselves. I'm not sure if it's shyness or maybe they just didn't feel socializing. My mom is the short one running around with the weird bun in the back of her head.

Then we have my husband. The tallest one of the bunch. The one who loves me without condition. Who put up with the painful organizing of it all. The one who opened his wallet so that his wife could celebrate the big 4-0. I get to look forward to coordinating his celebration of the big 4-0. He still has 3 years to go, though. It's great to be us! We make a great team. I cherish what I have in him.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!

Undecided

I am undecided about whether to quit my part time work at home job. I work for Hilton Hotels as a reservation agent. The commute is great! Just a 1 minute walk to our home office. The money comes in handy as we are trying to make this the year we get out of debt. I try to get all of my hours in Monday through Friday. It gives me a good outlet and I feel like I'm being a productive part of society.

Here's what I can't stand:

They micromanage. I'm not sure that I've ever been so micromanaged.

Policies are constantly changing. At first, they told W@H that we didn't have to work holidays. They had plenty of people that work on site that would cover holidays. I was also told that HRCC would cover the cost of my second phone line after six months. That's been a mystery as well. Now, I have to offer an American Express credit card at the end of the call. I'm in the hotel business, not the credit card peddling business. Since going through Financial Peace University two and a half years ago we cut up our credit cards.

Communication is a joke. I hardly ever get responses to questions through email.

It seems as though the company doesn't care about wanting to keep the employees it already has. They would just rather spend the money on hiring and training new people.

I'm over it, pretty much. I'm not sure that I care what happens with my job. My husbands job pays our bills and provides the roof over our heads. He's on a great track at his job and could be working a lot more in the very near future. If he needs to work late, someone will need to be there for our kids.

AUGH!! I just don't know. I want to be out of debt. I want to spend more time with my family. I want the extra play money. I want to be a productive part of society. I want my nights back. I want to be my own boss. At least if I'm my own boss, I've met her. I haven't even met my boss that I report to.

Tata for now!

Is There Really Any Such Thing As Sweet Revenge?

In my younger years, there's no telling how many boys I was dumped by. It doesn't really matter these days. I won the husband lottery and that's all that matters!

Recently I found out that a boy that I thought I would marry, divorced the girl he dumped me for. I found out that she actually cheated on him and that he had had enough, so he filed for divorce. At first, I chuckled. I thought for a brief moment, "How sweet". But, then I thought, "No, that's pretty mean. I couldn't imagine doing that to my husband". The pain that it would cause my husband, and my kids. I don't want to ever have to feel that kind of pain, or cause that kind of pain. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. It surprised me that she would do something so mean. I thought maybe there was really something true between them. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry they had to go through that to find out. I wish I could ask her, "What were you thinking?".

I have no regrets. The boys I was dumped by, the mistakes that I made, led me to my husband. We have something real. We have something unconditional. We have something for a lifetime. It wouldn't and shouldn't have worked out with the other boy anyway for a multitude of reasons.

People are sometimes cruel to one another, for no good reason. I wish it weren't that way.

This family has been cooped up in the house since last Saturday...it's now Tuesday and they've called for an ice storm tonight. JOY!!! There is only so much you can do when at any given time someone is running a fever, or coughing and hacking or just being a blob. This has not been fun!

BUT, I have made my motto for this year, "2009, a year of thankfulness". We are together, we WILL get over this. We have heat to keep us warm. We have food to tide us over. We have plenty of Tylenol and other meds. We have plenty of episodes of "The Twilight Zone" on the dvr from New Years to pass the time. This will not last forever.

We get to look forward to the ice melting. We get to look forward to a fun Valentine's Day with the kids. We get to look forward to Jaimee's 4th birthday and my 40th birthday!!! I am excited. We get to look forward the Spring season.

Just look forward!!!

Here's to more blogging in 2009

Well, it seems I felt it necessary to take off for the whole year of 2008!

Maybe 2009 will prove to be more fruitful! The year I turn 40. The start of our 12th year of marriage. The year I have deemed, "My year of thankfulness". I am thankful for living this life God has given me. I'm thankful for my husband, who loves me unconditionally. I'm thankful for the health and happiness of my wonderful kids. I am thankful that I know when I die, I will serve God for eternity. I am trying to see the blessings in every situation.

For such a time as this

As my wife's passionate posts over the past few weeks have indicated, our family has been through a rough patch, unparalleled in my own limited experience. To add insult to injury, last Friday our Isuzu Rodeo broke down when we were taking our daughters to my parents. After having the Rodeo towed to Goodyear, they diagnosed the problem as a locked cam shaft on the passengers side. Covered by our 120,000 mile power train warranty. Shouldn't a problem. Right?

Goodyear found a local Isuzu service department that sill administrates Isuzu warranties - Fezeli's Imports in McKinney - so we had it retowed to there. After a day of "looking at it," they somehow determined that the Rodeo's engine had no oil in it, so this is why the cam shaft locked up - only one, mind you, on the passenger's side. I protested that this was impossible, as I had checked the oil myself days before the breakdown and we had had the Rodeo's oil changed only 300 miles before the breakdown. The Fezeli's Service department manager agreed to call a corporate Isuzu rep out to determine warrantability of the cam shaft, and this is where things stand as of now.

All of this has added on to our already financial bleeding due to other mechanical failures around our house. This has been a time of frustration. We have been on the Dave Ramsey plan to pay off our unsecured consumer debt since September of last year, and the past six weeks of breakdowns have cost us half of what we'd already paid off. It feels like we've lost six months of progress.

But it occurred to me this morning that another way to see this is that God has been working with us over the past year to prepare us for these summer events. If we hadn't paid off all that debt, we'd be that much more in the hole than we were at this time last year. As it stands now, at least we're still below that level of debt. And our patterns have changed.

For such a time as this, God has been moving in us and through us to prepare us to move beyond and into something better.

My Marriage Rocks!

In the midst of all the turmoil this weekend, my marriage is stronger than ever! Right when our troubles began, we made a pact to not get mad at each other. It was nobody's fault. The power train going out on my car is some freak thing, that will either get fixed or, find it's way to the auction block!

I have a good man. I have a great man! I need to tell him more often. Me and my children are his priorities. You can't beat that. We work well together. The other weekend when my in laws bought our treadmill, we got the beast of a treadmill out of our bedroom before the in laws got there. We are a great team! God gave me a wonderful gift in my husband. He may not know how to fix a toilet the right way, or build a tree house, but, he truly loves me. He's a wonderful father. I can look in the eyes of my girls and tell them, when they grow up they need to find somebody to marry just like my husband. How many wives can say that about their husbands? He's a great provider. I'd rather have my husband than somebody that can fix a toilet the right way, who is a complete and utter jerk! Who wants a know it all jerk?

As long as we're all still together

This Labor Day weekend has been nerve wracking, to say the least. The one nice thing about it was that my husband's boss gave him Friday off because their team had been working hard on a project that will not end anytime in the near future. The second great thing was that my kids were going to be shipped off to my in-laws for the weekend, so my husband and I could have quality time together! We were on our merry way when my car starts making a high pitched squealing noise and we try to make it to the next exit, which seems to be an eternity away. We barely coasted up hill on the exit into a Target parking lot. The car died. We smelled burning rubber and rotten eggs. It was 95 degrees outside. My oldest had fallen asleep, so she was oblivious. My youngest was chatting the whole time. It was driving me bonkers.

When we called roadside assistance they said it would be 3 hours before anybody could help us. Then we also found out, they wouldn't have enough room for all of us on the truck. We called my in-laws to see if they could come and pick the girls up and take them to their house. They said yes at first, then when they got into some traffic, they called and said they were going back home. I panicked! At that point, I was hoping we could all have the same goal in mind, and think of my kids first. That, at least, they would be taken care of so my husband and i could take care of the stupid car. My mother in law griped because the spagetti she was making for dinner was probably ruined. I'm not sure why she couldn't have stayed at home to cook her dinner, and then my father in law pick up the girls. I'm thinking, it's only spagetti. It's not filet mignon, and it was her GRANDKIDS after all. So, my husband called them back saying, "No, we really need you to come and get them". They were there in only 45 minutes. Now, at least my kids were taken care of.

The tow truck driver actually showed 15 minutes later. He was nice! His name was, Ed. He got our car on the back of the truck and were off to Goodyear. This is all late on a Friday, so really nothing was going to happen til Saturday, anyway. Well, after the diagnosis was made on my car it turned out to be something on the powertrain that should be covered still under warranty. But, Goodyear doesn't honor Isuzu warranties. Neither does the dealership that we bought our car from that was only 10 minutes away. I wanted to rip the head off of every body at the Crest dealership! So, here we go. We tow my car once again to a dealership in Mesquite that does still honor Isuzu warranties. But, of course they won't have a chance to take a look at my car until next Wednesday. If we would have left my car at Goodyear and asked them to skip the warranty and just fix it, it would have been about $4k. The car is barely worth that much. By 2 o'clock I think I had cried a total of 3 times. I was stressed.

My in laws have 3 cars between the 2 of them. They are retired. My husband asked if we could borrow one for a week, and they were nice enough to agree. We've been married for 9 years now, and he's never asked them for anything. We've never had to, til now.

We've been trying to follow our "Baby Steps", as Dave Ramsey calls them. But, the last 5 weeks, we've been bleeding problems that aren't fixed with just $5 fixes. It's hundreds of dollar fixes. Each time. I'm afraid to ask, "What next, Lord?". God must think we're pretty strong, because of all He's handed us lately. I'm not sure I can take anything else. Thoughts of selling our house and just renting for a while start filling a permanent place in our heads. We need to get out from the dark cloud of debt hanging over us and just be free for a while. The house we are in, isn't necessarily our dream house anyway. It would take at least $100k to make it that way, and it's not worth that. We would just rather move into another house that cosmetically only needs some paint or something. Renting something smaller would also let us take a vacation with our kids that we haven't done in a while. At this point, I could care less about what people say about how this may look. The Jones' aren't worth keeping up with. They're in debt up to their eyeballs, and I don't want that kind of life. After they rack up the debt to their eyeballs, they cower and declare bankruptcy. That option has never crossed my mind, or my husbands.

This is all just stuff. It's rubble in Gods eyes. It doesn't matter where I live, as long as I have my husband and kids all under the same roof.