Gwen Was Here...

I would like to introduce you to someone I met roughly 46 years ago. I had the privilege of calling her "mom". She loved me fiercely. And with everything she had.

Gwen was the youngest of five children. She came in to this world on September 3, 1940. The baby of the family. Born to Robert Cecil and Opal Lela Porter in McKinney, TX. She grew up to be a beautiful and mischievous young woman. She loved to have fun with her friends. Reading passages in her yearbook makes me smile. She graduated from Garland High School in 1958.

She married my dad in 1968. Longing to be a mom, they had me the next year. That's where my story begins. Life was never dull with my parents. For lots of different reasons.

 My mom had a very creative side. Since our last name was Sack she had my birth announcements printed on Safeway sacks. If you look inside my dad's high school yearbook,  a lot of people called him, "Paper Sack". Why not use it for a sense of good?

My mom never lost her desire for fun. My parents would have people over often. Any reason to have a party, right?

My mom and Aunt Sharon at my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary.

My mom and dad at some get together with friends. Check out the 1970's pocket protector folks!

My mom would also like to go see her favorite NFL team, the Dallas Cowboys. She rooted for them til the day she took her last breath. Through all of their ups and downs. Some years were better than others. Truth!

She even took trips to Vegas to see her idol, Elvis. The 8x10s she took are in an album on my shelf now. When Elvis died, I think she took it as hard as if it were her own relative dying. Maybe even harder.






















She taught me the fine art of wrapping people's houses with toilet paper. It didn't stop us either that, a few times we wrapped the chief of police's house. His son was in our graduating class, and one of my friends had a long-lived crush on him. So that made him our target on occasion. My mom was the one who let us participate (quite often) in Chinese fire drills.

Her twenty years of experience as a hairstylist in one of the nicest parts of Dallas kept me motivated on trying new things. I had long hair until I decided that I wanted it cut and wanted some "bangs". She refused to cut it though. I had to ask one of the stylists she worked with to cut it. She cried that day.

My mom and I at a wedding where she did the bride's hair.

My mom knew how to throw a party. My birthday was always a special occasion. Some of my favorites are the one where we got to go on the Amtrak train between Dallas and Fort Worth. We had the whole car to our family and friends that came. One year she took my entire class to the aquarium at Fair Park. My sweet sixteen was supposed to be a surprise. But my aunt parked right next to my mom's car. I laugh about that still.

My mom survived a marriage with a partner who chose to find solace in a bottle. When my dad died she did what she had to make ends meet for her and I. She gave up being a hairstylist and found a job that offered insurance. She worked two jobs for several years. We were able to stay in our house and we got by. My mom had the strength and fortitude of any super human.

She knew what she had to do to make it through. Her resilience is something to be admired. I think her wicked sense of humor also got her through many of life's challenges. We laughed a lot.

One morning a seventeen year old ran  a red light. He t-boned my mom's car. After a month long stay at Parkland Trauma and a few months at Baylor rehab she was ready to come home. She lived the rest of her life with a metal rod in her left leg as a souvenir of that day. She was a fighter.

Then a diagnosis of diabetes came. It wasn't the end of the world, but changes needed to happen. I'm not sure I've ever seen someone cheat diabetes the way she did. Not sure I ever will.

In 1997 I met the man I would call my true love. In 1998 we married. Throughout our life together, I would almost promise you that my mom (at times) liked my husband more than she liked (possibly loved) me. There were lots of bumps in the road getting to that day with my mother, but we eventually got past those things.

My mom loved fiercely. She also lashed out at those she loved the most. She lived life the way she wanted. No apologies.

My mom wouldn't necessarily give you the shirt off of her back. But if you needed something she would buy 10 of them and give you at least 4 and she would keep the rest. My mom was known on a first name basis by the ladies at the major department stores in the area. She could outshop the best of them.

My mom had a long, sometimes difficult, road. In the last couple of years, diabetes changed her. Today she is free from diabetes. She is completely healed and in the loving arms of God.

Sometimes sorrow holds my hand and takes me down memory lane. Sometimes sorrow takes me down the road of regret.The regret of being stubborn, just like her. Opportunities wasted.

In my times of sorrow or regret, I close my eyes and rejoice in who makes me strong. He brings me peace.

 For a short time, Gwen was here. Daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother.


"Walk through the valley of the shadow. Don't wallow in it." Pastor Ellis at my mom's memorial.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. 1 Peter 1:3

Twenty Christmases

I remember the day as if it were yesterday. I was standing in the kitchen of my aunt's house. It was Christmas day. Twenty Christmases ago. It would be the last Christmas I would spend with my grandmother. The last time that I said, "I love you" to her.

My grandmother had a zest for life. She had an unconditional love for her family. She had an unwavering faith in God. She was the glue that kept my family together.

There are times in my life when I miss her like crazy. I remember how she sounded when she would answer the phone(Uh. Yes?). Oh, how I loved the banana nut bread she would make and simple gifts that she gave me (can of black olives with money taped to it). I loved her.


Time doesn't heal all wounds. Time just takes the sting out of those wounds.

Christmas is here once again and my special memory with her comes to mind. Tears of sadness because I wish she was here. Tears of joy of the thought of that one last time together.

 I will see her again. One day.

Merry Christmas, Mammaw. You are celebrating with the angels. 

Mammaw P and I. And one of my really bad choices in hairstyles. 

Mammaw S, Great-Grandmother Gann, me, Mammaw P.

Cheap & Easy

No, silly. I'm not describing me. Not in the least. Just ask Hubby! 

This school year I've recently gone back to work full-time. I've forgotten how much time I had on my hands since going back to work. Time is fleeting. But for Thanksgiving we actually got an entire week off. I am thankful. Grateful. And blessed. 

There was one project I knew I had to get done before the week was over. This had been on my list since last Christmas and the Advent season. I was tired of my scrawny candles in their crappy holders. See what I mean:

I couldn't stand to use these for one more year. Let me also get off my chest that I am a Pinterest fanatic! I found some great ideas for advent candles. This one had to be my favorite. So during the week I ventured off to a local craft store. I was kid free and I had my list in hand. Finding the terra cotta pots was a little difficult. And I'm not one to venture to six different stores to get exactly what I need. Substitutes are our friends! 

This is what I came up with instead:

Chalk is one of the latest trends going right now. Why not? I got my project (including candles) done for under $15. 

Is this post earth shattering? Nope. But it's a small thing to get my house and the people in my house (that I love dearly) in the season of anticipation of the coming birth of our Lord & Savior. 

Spring Break-Day Five

When Vegas seems to be a town where everything is open 24/7, don't bet on it. We got up early to catch a 9:30 flight and return our rental car. Our only option at the hotel for breakfast was room service. None of the restaurants would open until after we had to leave. Bummer. Hungry is putting it mildly.

The car rental place is in a different locale than the airport. So we returned the car and took the shuttle to the airport. I think airport employees may be the reason why we might make the decision to drive to every destination for the rest of our lives.

Even though I live in Texas, I don't have what's known as Big Texas Hair. It was odd how the TSA agent had to pat down my hair and my wrists*.  Hubby hasn't had any coffee at this point. I haven't had any sort of caffeine. We are just ripe for something.

 Well, our hunger hadn't gone away by this point. It's only gotten worse. So we set out to find some semblance of a breakfast. Burger King it is**!

Finally. They're calling for passengers to board for our flight. Hubby's on a must-ride ticket since it was business***. We sat by each other from Vegas to Oklahoma City. From OKC the flight was full. Hubby was pulled off since the flight was full, even though he had explained to them he was on a must-ride since part of the trip was business. He got back on the flight but rode jump seat. And boy did he get an earful from certain members of the flight crew. Some were touting the way other airlines did their business. And she thought our airline should follow suit****. I'm sorry. If you want to tout the way other airlines do their business, please by all means, go work for them. There is probably some rhyme or reason why our airline does it the way they do and it seems profitable when other airlines don't. So remember that the next time the company makes a profit sharing deposit to your 401k.

Our plane finally touches Dallas ground. It's good to be home. I'm just missing my kids and my dog. So off we go to Ft. Worth to get the rest of our family*****.

Once we got home on Friday evening we didn't leave the house all day on Saturday. Home sweet home. Just the four of us.

*What on God's green earth could I possibly hide in my fine, flat hair? I think she did it just to mess my hair up and fill it with static. I was wearing a short sleeve shirt. It's not like I was wearing sleeves that had crap stuffed in them. Bizarre.
**Good gosh. I think at any Burger King outside the airport my family of four could have eaten for what Hubby and I had to pay for breakfast at the airport.
***And remember? I purchased my ticket. I'm not risking getting kicked off any flights because of full flights during one of the busiest times of the year. 
****I'm sorry, ma'am. You mistakenly read the sign on my husband's forehead to say that he gives a d*mn. He is in no position to do anything about your complaints. You have treated him like crap on this flight and he has witnessed you treating customers like crap. You actually contributed to Hubby feeling embarrassed to call you a fellow employee. You may want to consider your delivery and how you speak to people.
*****And we're approaching rush hour. Joy.

Spring Break-Day Four

I think by day four, we were ready to get to a different locale. I had had enough of the relaxation thing, and Hubby was just done with Palm Springs. We had breakfast at a local breakfast chain. When paying for the check the lady asked me if I had an AARP card. I kid you not. I had just had my roots done. There is nothing about me that screams AARP. She tried to say that she thought I was with a senior citizen. Have you seen my husband? Um. Hello?! He doesn't even look 35 years old, let alone his actual age. Good gosh. It's time to get the h*ll out of dodge.

So we set out for our drive to Vegas to spend some time there before we headed home.

If any car rental agent tells you she has a shortcut to Vegas, don't believe her. Take the way that has more lanes and civilization. We took the road more traveled and we're thankful for it.

We finally made it to Vegas. This was my first time there. Even in the daylight, it's overwhelming. I had requested a room with a view of the strip and we got a room with a view of the airport. I wouldn't recommend this hotel to anyone. We justified it as if we weren't going to be spending a lot of time in the room anyway. And if we were we'd be asleep.

 The Cirque show that was at our hotel was closed for the day we were there. So we ventured on our walk to see the sights. Through the eyes of a Vegas Virgin, it was an assault on the eyes. The beauty of some of the sights was sort of diminished by the people who were handing out cards to solicit the services of females. If I was holding Hubby's hand they'd still try and give him a card. Then one tried to give me one.

Hubby and I wanted to walk through a majority of the hotels on the strip. And then we came across this and had to stay awhile.

 

We found the Mirage and went to see if we could still get tickets to the Cirque show The Beatles Love. Whenever the concierge gives you a ticket price, just tell your companion you don't want to pay that (within ear shot of the concierge) and the concierge will automatically knock off about $35 per ticket. There wasn't a bad seat in this theater. This was the first Cirque show for both of us and we were not disappointed. If you ever have a chance to see one of their shows I would highly recommend it. This show enlightened Hubby to The Beatles music. Some good. Some not so good. Some great! Great enough to download some after we got home.

Once the show was over, we headed back to the hotel. At night, the strip is even more overwhelming. But this helps.

I know that Vegas is known as "Sin City". But listen up people, eventually you might come to regret the way you were acting that night. At least I pray that you do.

The night came to an end with us back at our hotel, exhausted. Listening to the screams of the people on the roller coaster right outside our hotel room.

*The room didn't even have a coffee maker. I think I was more upset about that than the coffee drinker in my marriage. When I called to inquire about where the coffee maker was, she suggested room service. I don't want room service. I just want a coffee maker in my room, so I can make coffee for my husband.

Spring Break 2014-Day Three

Day three was going to be a breeze. I had one thing to check off my list while Hubby spent a half day at the conference.

I was going to visit Sunnylands  while Hubby "worked". Well, I made the much anticipated drive out there. Only to find out it was open Thursday through Sunday. I was there on Wednesday. I was disappointed, but what could I do? Oh well.

When Hubby was done for the day we looked forward to massages in the hotel spa. All I can say was, it was odd. Hubby and I did a couples massage. The spa had given Hubby the female masseuse and I had a male masseuse. I was ok with Hubby having a female. I wasn't quite comfortable with having a male. He was rough. I felt a little on edge the entire time with another man touching me. Plus, he used a little too much force. I thought I was giving off enough symbols to let him know that was too hard, but I guess not.

After leaving the spa and going back to our rooms, we passed by a couple that was fairly good looking. They knew it. But they also seemed to ooze porn. They gave off a sleazy vibe*.

Hubby has some silly goal to visit every Apple store in every town that we visit. So back to El Paseo we go. That led to dinner at a seafood restaurant called Pacifica. We ate on the rooftop patio overlooking the shops of El Paseo and the mountains. The food was fabulous! It was just a very neat experience!

Daylight was fading and it was time to get back to the hotel to pack up for the drive to Vegas, baby.



*Plus, it didn't help that she was getting him off right there at the pool.

Spring Break 2014-Day Two

After a night of recouping some rest and gaining a fresh perspective, we were waking up at Central Time, but that was ok. The weather was grand! We heard birds chirping in a not so distant tree*. Breakfast was our name. While Hubby went for a run, I started getting ready for the day.

We were able to enjoy breakfast together, then Hubby was off doing his work stuff. I went back to our room to kill a little bit of time before the shops opened. I wanted to head down to the downtown area of Palm Springs and hit some sights.

I was able to find the Palm Springs Museum of Art and saw some interesting things.

Seriously? This is what I paid $10 to see? I know art museums are sort of "iffy" when it comes to what is considered art these days, but this is just stupid. In another section there were canvases painted in solid colors. The only redeeming piece was this.

Oh well. Now on to downtown Palm Springs. There is retail therapy to be had! On my way I encounter this.

She's 26ft tall. Done by Johnson & Johnson heir Seward Johnson. Inspired by the famous photo from the movie The Seven Year Itch. It's sort of fitting since Palm Springs is where Norma Jean Baker was "discovered" and spent time there with former husband Joe DiMaggio.

There were a few souvenir shops sprinkled in between art galleries and other retail**. There was one store that had a tag line that said, "the cure for the humorless". Well, when I tried to take a picture of an item because I knew I would never remember to tell some friends about it, the sales guy tells me not to take any pictures. Talk about not having any sense of humor. I put my items for purchase down and walked out. Eh.

After lunch and the speech that Hubby and his team member were giving, the team member wanted to go down to El Paseo for more retail therapy***.  It was visually pleasing. I've never seen so many luxury cars. And when I say luxury, I mean LUXURY cars****.

After a while, there's only so much to see, when everything costs an arm and a leg. It's time to start thinking about heading back to the hotel and dinner. Hubby and I went to a hamburger joint back in downtown Palm Springs. It was called Hamburger Mary's. It was awesome! We were able to sit on the patio and enjoy eating dinner in perfect weather. 

Another day in the bag!


*We have been dying for the birds to come back this Spring.
**With as many art galleries that I saw, these people must change their art like they change their underwear.
***El Paseo is known as the "Rodeo Drive" of Palm Springs.
****A Lexus might have been considered as lowly as a Ford in this part of town.

Spring Break 2014-Day One

It's been a while, hasn't it? But here goes some posts about how our Spring Break 2014 went.

Growing up I never went on a Spring Break vacation. It just wasn't something we did. My first Spring Break vacation wasn't until after I married my husband and we went on a road trip to Tennessee to see a friend*.

So now it's our second Spring Break vacation. Well, partial vacation/partial work conference for Hubby. Somebody had invited him to speak at a conference on communications and, hello, it was in Palm Springs! Sign me up!

We had arranged for the kiddos to go to Hubby's parents for the week. I was looking forward to getting away. Next time, I would love to take the kids with us. If there is a next time.

After getting up at the crack of dawn to catch an early flight, we were greeted by one of the most unfriendliest fellow airline employees, who apparently couldn't be bothered***. Flight delayed. Shocker. Our plan was to get to Palm Springs by way of Vegas.

We were able to get on a later flight and made it to Wichita, KS****. Woohoo! It didn't take long at all to get that plane turned around and off to Vegas.

We had some pretty awesome views of this great country we live in on the way. I'm not a window seat kind of person, but the person sitting in the window seat took some pics for me.

I've traveled to a few places. But there's still a large portion of this country I haven't seen. And it simply amazes me how God has shaped this world. His hands work wonders. And it's for our pleasure.

Once we finally touched down in Vegas we thought we'd have a rental car waiting for us. When we got to the lengthy line to wait for our turn, it was obvious that we would be waiting for a REALLY long time. So, I did what any good consumer would do. I went to another rental car counter to see what I could get. After I was informed I could get the same deal somewhere else without the wait, I called the other car rental agency that we had a car through to make sure we wouldn't be charged anything. Well. They had gone ahead and cancelled our rental because we hadn't picked it up by a certain time. Talk about livid! If we had waited any longer in that line just to find out our reservation was cancelled, I would have feared for the life behind that counter. Either one of us might have gone ballistic. We have learned we will never use that agency again.

When we signed all of the paperwork for our rental car, the lady gave us a map to Palm Springs. She said, "This will knock an hour off of your drive". Um. No. It added about an hour and a half, on top of the normal 4 hour drive. The route she showed us (and we took) was nothing but two lane roads, and trucks we couldn't pass*****. It was nothing but desert and ugly. We kept trying to think of it as an adventure. But it got hard to do that after a while. It was exhausting.

There was a member of Hubby's team also going on this trip. She flew in to Burbank and drove the rest of the way. She left a couple of hours after us, but got there before we did. We spent roughly thirteen hours traveling.

It could have turned into a day where we were wondering why we were doing this. But then we finally arrived at the hotel. What a great place!

Palm Springs has a great atmosphere. The hotel feels like a bygone era. There's very much a Rat Pack feel to it without feeling outdated. Our room was sweet! I mean a suite. Hubby got an upgrade since he was speaking at this conference. But our view was nothing special. The view was of the roof of the building next to us. Eh. This is a pic of a room just like ours. Except we had no view.There was also a living room.

We had arrived so late that we had missed the dinner to welcome all of the attendees of the conference. We went to the bar to see what we could scrounge up. What we ordered turned out to be a little less than satisfying. Chalk it up to being a little froo froo.

It was good to finally arrive at our destination. But it was time to collapse. Tomorrow will be a better day.


*We ended up coming home early, because our hosts couldn't stop fighting. Not fun.
**Well, after buying me a ticket that is.
***Do these people not remember they work in the service industry? I realize there are some doozy of some customers out there, but you can get back to your conversation with the other employee after I get my bags checked. And it got even worse on the trip home.
****Wright amendment, you will not be gone soon enough!
*****Either because the car couldn't get up enough RPMs or there were curves in the road and we couldn't see around them.

Christmas Has Finally Arrived

What happens when I get iced in for almost four days straight? Just short of pulling my hair out and eating everything in sight, I got busy. Christmas finally got put on display in the house! Arranged in vignettes, finally, to my liking*. Granted we've had the tree up since early November, with just the lights. But Hubby was nagging at me to get the ornaments up. I was too busy just enjoying the lights.

The Christmas spirit finally kicked in after the first Sunday of Advent. Combine that with a sheet of two inch thick ice on the driveway and I've got nothing but time to get the decorations out. They've been sitting in boxes too long. It also helped that we watched the 1951 version of A Christmas Carol with Alastair Sim. It was at my oldest daughter's request that we watch the movie. That just melted my heart.

Welcome to my Christmas home tour:

This will greet you when you walk in the front door.

At some point I had an obsession with snow globes & Santa Claus. I've stopped this obsession, but I still bring out what I have.

See what I mean? Santa Claus & snow globes everywhere.

We each have a ribbon to place our wish list items on.

The tree this year is not what I usually do. It's much simpler. And I love it just as much as in years past**.

Hubby and I bought this angel before we got married. It's nice to see her out again. 

My kitchen table is set with my mismatched Christmas dishes. But it looks good. I don't buy anything pricey before Christmas that's a keeper. Unless I like it A LOT. I would rather try and hold off until after and save a little dough. 

I added some paper placemats. I'll wait until after Christmas before I buy some fabric ones to keep forever. Until then, these will do just fine.

Where do I throw the throw that really doesn't keep anybody warm and is itchy? On the table then pile stuff on it that doesn't go anywhere else.

What's the easiest thing in the world to decorate with at Christmas? Ornaments!

We are missing our nativity scene this year. It's about 16 years old and last year there were just too many pieces either broken or missing***. After Christmas I'm going to see if I can hunt down pieces of a certain nativity scene that I just adore. But have you priced this thing out? Wowza!

Jesus may not be displayed in a nativity in our home. But He is in our hearts and we try to live the life that He has given us. He is the reason that we celebrate this very time of year. With joy.
 
 We look forward to Christmas. We look forward to being together and celebrating the birth of our Lord & Savior. I love the feelings of hope and love that fill the air when Christmas is fast approaching****. The excitement that the kids feel is contagious.

For the kid in all of us that we never outgrow, there is this:

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!. 

*You can only throw so many blocks of chipped off ice while yelling, "ICEBERG" into the pool before it gets boring.

**Except last years tree. I'm glad companies are making lights that are more earth friendly, but last year they were BLUE. My tree looked like a big light up Smurf at night. We don't do pre-lit trees. They are more of a hassle to us than they are worth!

**At this point I'm even missing parts of the Little People nativity that the kids have. At our ages though, it almost seems sacrilegious. It was really cute when the kids were younger. If you press down on the angel it plays Silent Night.  

****During the times when frustration and disappointment aren't busy filling our heads.  And I still haven't finished shopping.

Dear PTA Nag

Aaahhhh. The acronym "PTA" doesn't necessarily hold warm fuzzies for some*. I said some. I am one of those some.

Why do I participate, you ask? I have a few reasons.  I like to get to know the teachers in my kids lives. I like to help where I can. If a teacher needs a chaperone for a field trip, I'm your girl. You need those books covered**? I'm your girl. I am a whiz with the scissors and the laminating machine in the workroom. The copying machine and I are best buds at this point. My last reason for participating is I have time on my hands. Give me something to do! It just so happens that my position this year is in the teacher workroom. I pop in to see what needs to be done at my choosing.

Then, there's my PTA cohorts. A few of them I have enjoyed getting to know. Then there's the others. The ones who need to point out to you endlessly what title they hold within the organization because that's all they have to hold over you***.

Recently I was walking up to pick up my youngest after school. I was talking to a fellow PTA'er and we were having a very pleasant conversation****. Then I felt the presence of the Nag behind be. It doesn't help that you can hear her voice from a mile away. It grates on my nerves. She wouldn't know how to whisper if her life depended on it. Trust me sister PTA'er, not everyone is interested in your conversations.

"I just wanted to remind you to check the workroom. There's a TON of stuff that needs to be taken care of. Have you been there this week?*****" Um. No. I haven't been there yet. I took care of a bunch of errands on Monday and on Tuesday I had to go to the bank and do some grocery shopping. On each day I have to have at least one hour before the kids come home to do whatever I want. So if that ends up being not a dadgum thing, that's my priority.

Have I mentioned that I have managed to get through 44 years of life? I have also managed to bring into this world two wonderful kids with Hubby of almost 16 years? I don't need a micromanager. In the big scheme of life, this volunteer position will come after my home life is taken care of.  Not to mention I do have an older child that is in band and I like helping at her school as well.

In that moment when she's asking if I'm keeping up with my duties, I let her make me feel belittled. Who does that in front of somebody else? I am a grown a** woman. I know what needs to get done and by golly if it doesn't then the teacher will have to just take care of it. I'm sorry. There are weeks where I have spent 20 hours a week in that workroom. If it takes me until Wednesday to get to that room then so be it. This is a VOLUNTEER position. I have volunteered PLENTY since school started.

What Little Nag doesn't realize is that the office manager let the entire teaching staff know that there is a dedicated person for the workroom this year. I have been overwhelmed at times and have asked for help. That doesn't show up. There will be weeks where it will be my first priority. But not every week. 

And you know what? If it's not getting done to her liking, then she can jump in there any old time and make a copy or two.

You know, I would have preferred for her to just say "Hi". But she didn't and it is what it is******. The next time that happens, be warned Little Nag. Be warned. Depending on the day, I will go bat crap crazy on you and I will do it with a smile. You might not even know I'm doing it to you.


*PTA=Parent Teacher Association

**Do you know how many hundreds of books I've covered? Why can't they just ask the parents to at Meet the Teacher night?

***It's sort of funny actually. The ones that do this are shorter than I am. Listen, it's ok for you to be short and it's ok for me to be tall. Get.Over.It.

****Fellow PTA'er happened to be tall as well.

*****This was Tuesday afternoon.

******Ran into her once at the grocery. We were on the same aisle. I hope you liked the wine you chose. I sure liked mine and Hubby liked his Dos Equis. She looked down as I was coming towards her. I went ahead and said "Hi ****". It's ok. I don't want to be friends with you, but I will be civil. Til I have a reason not to be.